cricket123

I'm hosting a graduation party for my twins this weekend. We, AH and I started some remodeling in December. (What was I thinking) well the projects became to much for me to do so I hired some one to get it ready to paint. AH got his nose out of joint for some me not making breakfast for my 16 year old who had got up at 1130 and would not help finish. (great guy)

Well I have been trying to mount the mirror in the bathroom can't find the stud(got to love stud finders) and I keep putting holes in the wall and having a hard time lifting it. He Already made comments about I should of left the nails in but the people I hired needed it removed so the could fix it. Dumb me I thought I would be able to figure it out. (I will) I might have to get my 16 year old to help me later.

So now my house is a mess and we have this party tomorrow. I'm also stressing out about that not that it won't work out I just know HE is going to find something to yell a me about.

So looking forward to my appointment Thursday with my lawyer.

Would it be bad of me to buy him some rum and put it in his hiding spot in hope he passes out for the whole party? Lol I'm giving this serious thought lol

ladyscribbler

Can you do a backyard BBQ instead of having the party in the house? Or just explain that you're doing some remodeling. I think any reasonable person will understand that.
Since the party is for your kids, I vote no on the rum. Having him make a scene will only upset them. I know my ex never passed out when I wanted him to. Those were the times he would just keep raging on somehow staying awake for hours, even after consuming enough alcohol to fell an elephant.
Maybe send him out on a long and complex "errand" and hope he stops someplace and is just gone for the whole party.

lillamy

I'm sorry. It's like you just gave me a snapshot back into my own life while married to an A. Where nothing was easy, where everything was a reason to yell at me and get drunk, and where what should have been fun family celebrations gave me stomach aches for weeks ahead of time.

You know the idea of buying him rum is a really bad one, right?

cricket123

Yeah I know buying him rum is a bad idea. I'm just wishing I could get my needs meet. Sorry I'm having a potty party right now. Party is out side but we are cooking things inside and taking them out. I'm first ranted with the fact that I've told the girls to do things and now 24 before and I'm still asking/yelling at them to get it done. AH has for years undermined me and let the kids off the hook on chores and dumped on me to do it all. Right now I am reminding myself what gets done gets done that's all I can do it will work out.

ladyscribbler

Well, it's their party. Maybe let them have the responsibility for how it turns out. Even taking your AH out of the equations it's really not fair for them to expect you to carry this entire load. They are getting ready to go out into the world as adults. Maybe you can use this situation as an opportunity to teach them a lesson about adulthood. Take your hands off the wheel and hand it over to them.
Make a to do list, leave it for them, and you go someplace else. Return for the party and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

CodeJob

Cricket,

Well, I've seen my in laws go on remodeling projects before the HS grad party. Things go wrong. The toilet breaks during the new tile install, the new toilet has a different height which reveals a problem with the wallpaper... It is easy to get worked up. Usually it ends up being a big part of the chatter - how your kids wore your house threadbare...

Now I am notorious for freaking out before we have guests. I have been that way forever. It is life or death that some stupid chore get accomplished that I have ignored for 8 months because great aunt Jolene is coming for dinner. I act the martyr and in a huff of energy evict some dirt. I am a cyclical cleaner. I will never dust daily.

As for kids not helping - well they are unlikely to adapt to you allowing them to be more responsible overnight. I work my DS like a dog, but I make it fun as best I can. Today I am killing pollen by washing windows and curtains. He's getting handy as he is almost as tall as me. Funny kid. Soon I will make him play guitar while I dust. Totally HATE to dust. Might as well get a live performance out of it.

Enjoy your party. Do what means the most to you and just shrug off the rest!

dandylion

Cricket---I totally get what you are talking about. Leave it to an alkie to ruin every possible holiday or celebration.

Here is looking at thursday......

dandylion

cricket123

I just have to remind myself that what happen happens - he appears to have a way of coming up smelling like a rose so I put extra pressure on myself to make sure I get it right then I stress out when things fall apart and I wish I had someone to help me out. I feel like a single parent who does 90% of the work with a husband who get all the credit. Lessons learned. (Hopefully)

jaynie04

Hi Cricket…just a quick tip when you can find a stud finder, if you have an electric razor and hold it against the wall it will make a markedly different noise when you hit a stud…
(my husband is not very ….ahem, handy…..).

I've always loved helping women find studs!

cricket123

I went and got some dry wall fastener and my girls got it up I'm not sure it is level but right now I don't care. Lol

Also, I won't mind finding a stud...

schnappi99

If the stud-finder is still in play try pressing button w/ it stationary then move slowly. When you find something go past then back, also slowly, if you find it again, go past & repeat again, you'll then see if you get a consistent positive. Finding each edge of the stud from in-between seems more accurate for me. Put a mark on each edge of the positive- if its about 1.5" then you got one & now you know your center. The others (if you need them) should be 16" away center to center- confirm w/ tape measure and stud finder.

change in tone of echo from the electric razor is a great idea too...

good luck!

CodeJob

Sorry to report no studs out running the neighborhood tonight! lmao

Hawkeye13

I think my stud finder is plumb wore out. . .

cricket123

Mine don't work lol