Carlotta

Step Nine says I need not make direct amends to those I have injured if, in doing so, I might cause further injury. How do I know whether or not to take action? If direct amends are inappropriate, I can trust my Higher Power to let me know. Otherwise, if I have worked the Eighth Step and become truly willing to make amends, I believe the opportunities will arise when I am ready. For example, I was unable to discuss my personal life with my mother. Fearing her rejection, I rejected her instead. An upcoming visit presented an opportunity to make amends, but I wasn’t sure I was ready. Would making amends at this time injure me? After my mother arrived, I had the feeling that this was “the time.” I prayed for courage and asked my Higher Power to help me find the words. My mother sat down with me in a quiet moment and, to my amazement, brought up every subject I had wanted to discuss. I realized that the opportunity to be close to her had always existed, but I hadn’t been willing, until then, to take part in it.