Bullfrog

You know, when I took my marriage vows, so many years ago, I did not count on the face time I would have with police officers and lawyers. It's something I really could have happily lived the rest of my life having never experienced.

jacrazz

I'm sorry, yes, it is tragic to see where the road has led.

asm505

While it isn't what anyone want to see happen to a marriage but fortunately, you have the option to remove yourself from it. Good luck to you.

dandylion

Bullfrog---I am sure that we could write a good Saturday Night Live skit around this!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember when your china pattern was the most vexing issue to deal with?........
I do.

dandylion

PippiLngstockng

Police, lawyers, therapists and domestic violence counsellors on two continents. We've employed a lot of people.

I like the police the best. No nonsense, no hesitating, no $300 conversations. They don't care, either, how successful xah is. They see him for what he is. A violent abusive drunk. They get it better than all the others. Best, they've taken out their guns, frisked him, escorted him out of our house and put him in jail.

Never thought I would have an alcoholic husband in my life, nor police at my door nor be standing in line at one public aid agency after another.

Never thought I'd get to be so strong, either.

unsureoffuture

Yes, I kknow the feeling . I did not expect to be turning 40 and having to start my entire life over from ground zero. Hopefully the future will be uneventful so to speak.

Bullfrog

It would make a good skit: "Things I Never Expected I'd Eventually Do After Taking My Marriage Vows"

Um... File for a restraining order. Hide in a closet. Mentally figure out how many years and months I had left before my youngest left for college.

(We are divorced now, btw, but the fun just keeps on coming.)

RollTide

I never knew that they had built a new jail in my town until I went to the old location to bail my XAH out and found it it was no longer there. LOL

MsPINKAcres

yes we didn't know there was a third party at our wedding - the disease of alcoholism or addiction - or at least I didn't.

It took my almost 11 years to invite recovery to join the marriage and then another 5 to let courage help me end it ~

But all these things have made me stronger & wiser ~

I pray that you will find your strength, courage and wisdom to walk your path to Serenity.

PINK HUGS

lillamy

I hear you. I was also not prepared for how the saving for a downpayment for a house and a new couch would be replaced by working my tail off to pay the bills for lawyers and counselors and doctors...

Bullfrog

You, too!!!

Patticakes

Grieving the loss of what our hopes and dreams are is SO painful! I feel like I have "HAD" to grieve as if my husband has died. In so many ways he has!
Holy crap..... I NEVER EXPECTED this for my life! BUT, I never realized how strong I am until this point either!
We who survive this are warriors....warriors for our own lives! I am SO GLAD I see here on this site all the survivors, all the warriors ready and willing to fight for their lives and support others to do the same!
I grieve with you....I understand and hold you in my thoughts and prayers.

redatlanta

I never thought I would learn to take a firing pin out out of a gun via youtube. Or have a stash of money in my car with clothes plus an extra car key hidden in the dirt in case I had to run out without my keys.

If he ever relapses again I'll be skipping the sequel.

searching peace

I have said that thousands of times of the last week. I cannot believe this is my life, my reality. The only thing helping me through this is thinking of getting my kids out of this so it is not their life.

Wishing you all peace, safety and love.