Should I confront my mother about her alcoholism?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2
Should I confront my mother about her alcoholism?
My mother was recently hospitalized after almost dying from bleeding ulcers (alcohol related). I'm visiting her tonight and is have a feeling she'll deny her alcoholism. She's still in the ICU but in a stable/coherent state. Should I confront her about her alcoholism and insist she go to rehab? She's always denied having a problem and I think she'll keep denying it. I don't know how forceful I should be, whether I should say anything at all or wait until she's in a more stable state (although she's already talking about leaving the hospital soon). I'm very frustrated because her drinking has torn our family apart... But at the same time, she must be in a precarious mental state to want to drink so excessively and not seek medical treatment. Any advice would be appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
the word "confront" signifies, to me, that this could become a conversation that could go south rather quickly.
it probably will go south anyway, since your mom's drinking has caused so much discord in your family. I don't know.
maybe a simple statement......mom, will you please get help?
it probably will go south anyway, since your mom's drinking has caused so much discord in your family. I don't know.
maybe a simple statement......mom, will you please get help?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
I think the "Please get help, Mom" should be an add-on statement that follows "You've destroyed all relationships in this family..." It's up to HER whether SHE wants help for HERself. YOU nor anyone else can TELL HER to go to rehab or get help.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
I feel for you. I often wonder when the day that you are having is going to happen to me with my mother. I have bristled at my mother about her alcohol problem, I have cried to my mom about her alcohol problem, I have offered help and support and resources about her alcohol problem to no avail. You can only pray for the best, create boundaries that you will stick with, and use this situation to make your life better for you and your family. You mom won't admit that she has a problem and agree to get help until something very deep inside of her admits that she has a terrible problem with alcohol and wants desperately a healthier life and realizes that life without alcohol will probably be better. I understand all sides of this because I developed stomach ulcers myself and I blamed everything else in my life for causing them instead of the vats of red wine I was drinking regularly. I continued to drink wine, even when I would wake up in the middle of the night with my stomach on fire, feeling like it was full of holes and hurting me to the point of me sobbing. I gave up Diet Coke, spicy food, started taking all kinds of probiotics, but nothing helped until I finally woke up and admitted to myself that life would be better for me and my family if I quit drinking. That came from me and God and no one else. I know it's not what you want to hear, and I am in your same shoes, but I know it is what is true. My prayers are with you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 458
She is in ICU. My response would be no. Tell her that when she gets out of ICU you and her will have a heart to heart talk on how she got to this point.
Lay the groundwork for this conversation- but dont get into it now. This would be my response.
Lay the groundwork for this conversation- but dont get into it now. This would be my response.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
