Exit Strategy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 66
Good luck Steelman! I have a A that refuses to leave. legal's the only way that's working for me, and it's taking a long time. But the end is nearer now!
Yeah, if money for an apartment is available, great, offer to pay the first few months or something.
Thanks Hammer for the strategy vs. tactics, I am going to read now.
Yeah, if money for an apartment is available, great, offer to pay the first few months or something.
Thanks Hammer for the strategy vs. tactics, I am going to read now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Steelman,
This whole week I have been busy, which has helped me keep my sick Codie brain out of my RAHs head. Last night I even forgot basketball was on! Major oops! I can't believe Dayton is still in it!
I was frustrated yesterday bc you seem stuck. You get some resolve and you know what you want, but then your A comes back and twists it. You are addicted to her. I think SHE is your project.
Until you are willing to close the book and write her off as a loss, you are stuck. You are still getting some sort of hit in this sense of control, superiority or management of this person. You do not want to let her go.
You two are probably on some drama triangle. For a long time I knew something was 'off' about my marital arguments. It's bc both of us were fighting for the martyr role so we could be passive aggressive. The actual point of the argument was quickly lost as we scrapped for the martyr corner. We did not know our attraction was ACOA. There was no class on that! I'm the only one who keeps working my own recovery, but I hesitate to move on bc I am confident I will just pick another one! I weigh the length of my marriage and wonder what is the point of moving on if I am going to pick another banged up emotionally withdrawn hurt Guy?
I recommend that you return back to your counselor and work on you. That is where you can make a difference and not disappoint your self.
Peace!
This whole week I have been busy, which has helped me keep my sick Codie brain out of my RAHs head. Last night I even forgot basketball was on! Major oops! I can't believe Dayton is still in it!
I was frustrated yesterday bc you seem stuck. You get some resolve and you know what you want, but then your A comes back and twists it. You are addicted to her. I think SHE is your project.
Until you are willing to close the book and write her off as a loss, you are stuck. You are still getting some sort of hit in this sense of control, superiority or management of this person. You do not want to let her go.
You two are probably on some drama triangle. For a long time I knew something was 'off' about my marital arguments. It's bc both of us were fighting for the martyr role so we could be passive aggressive. The actual point of the argument was quickly lost as we scrapped for the martyr corner. We did not know our attraction was ACOA. There was no class on that! I'm the only one who keeps working my own recovery, but I hesitate to move on bc I am confident I will just pick another one! I weigh the length of my marriage and wonder what is the point of moving on if I am going to pick another banged up emotionally withdrawn hurt Guy?
I recommend that you return back to your counselor and work on you. That is where you can make a difference and not disappoint your self.
Peace!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hi Steelman,
As others have said, obtaining the advice of an attorney is probably your best bet. She is not going to leave the home unless made to do so by law, probably.
Do you live in a house, condo, apartment? Whose name(s) is/are on the lease? If both of your names are on the lease or deed, then that will almost certainly need to be handled by the courts. If the lease or deed is in your name only, then this might go a bit more smoothly, but I really don't know.
Good luck with whatever you decide, but I hope that you will consult an attorney about these matters!
As others have said, obtaining the advice of an attorney is probably your best bet. She is not going to leave the home unless made to do so by law, probably.
Do you live in a house, condo, apartment? Whose name(s) is/are on the lease? If both of your names are on the lease or deed, then that will almost certainly need to be handled by the courts. If the lease or deed is in your name only, then this might go a bit more smoothly, but I really don't know.
Good luck with whatever you decide, but I hope that you will consult an attorney about these matters!
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