Do I even belong here?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Alcoholism is abuse. I agree with this wholeheartedly. There are just sometimes that the abuse is out of the realms of alcoholism.
In my case, my ex was an alcoholic, but not drinking and following a program would still have not done him any good. It was his whole thought process. It's hard to explain the difference, because I guess it can be referred to as a "dry drunk", but it's not, it goes much deeper then that.
I never once blamed alcoholism for his behavior. His behavior was too weird. Just too weird to even post here. I am convinced that my ex also has a mental illness. There is a high rate of comorbidity between alcoholism and mental illness. (also not saying here that all people with a mental health issue are abusive either), but this is what I was dealing with.
I came to this section to see how my drinking had affected people, also came here because I used to belong to a verbal abuse forum.
I think sometimes it is very hard to see the difference in the abuse, but I do think that sometimes when someone posts looking for help, the hairs on your arms go up, and there are so many giving the DV #, that even though you don't know why you are reacting like this, you do know that there is more then alcoholism. So even though this may not make sense, I do think that the difference sometimes just hits you right in the face.
It's like you are seeing a bigger problem, but the poster wants it to be alcoholism, just like I wanted to find something else to blame the really weird bad behavior on, but we can somehow just feel that there is more going on then that.
In my case, my ex was an alcoholic, but not drinking and following a program would still have not done him any good. It was his whole thought process. It's hard to explain the difference, because I guess it can be referred to as a "dry drunk", but it's not, it goes much deeper then that.
I never once blamed alcoholism for his behavior. His behavior was too weird. Just too weird to even post here. I am convinced that my ex also has a mental illness. There is a high rate of comorbidity between alcoholism and mental illness. (also not saying here that all people with a mental health issue are abusive either), but this is what I was dealing with.
I came to this section to see how my drinking had affected people, also came here because I used to belong to a verbal abuse forum.
I think sometimes it is very hard to see the difference in the abuse, but I do think that sometimes when someone posts looking for help, the hairs on your arms go up, and there are so many giving the DV #, that even though you don't know why you are reacting like this, you do know that there is more then alcoholism. So even though this may not make sense, I do think that the difference sometimes just hits you right in the face.
It's like you are seeing a bigger problem, but the poster wants it to be alcoholism, just like I wanted to find something else to blame the really weird bad behavior on, but we can somehow just feel that there is more going on then that.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Wellll, In general, I would say that we humans are very complex and multi-layered (psychologically). No two exactly alike...like snowflakes.The way Iook at it is: The most important thing is that we can share our common feelings and experiences with each other---with the goal of mutual help and comfort.
It is a good thing.
dandylion
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