Pia

Got a text this morning and was asked if AH came back home. I said no why apparently he left last night around 10ish after taking a shower and getting cleaned up. They know he came back home but not sure when.

AH is a dirty person(construction work) never takes showers at night so him taking a shower at night is what tipped them off thinking he came to see me.

Any thoughts?

marie1960

Oh I have lots and lots of thoughts, but the thoughts that matter here are YOURS.

I've learned to pay very close attention to my gut instinct.

My common sense meter says, guys don't take a shower, get cleaned up, and head out the door at ten pm, to go to the grocery store for some hamburger buns.

Pia

I just keep debating do I call him and find out? What for he will lie, but maybe just maybe he will tell me the truth.

I guess looking back i'm trying to control the situation I want to know so there for I am controlling something I Have no control? Is that correct?

marie1960

Why, why, why, would you do that to yourself?

You are the one who matters here.

Slow down, breathe, the truth will come out on it's own.........

Seems when I tried to force the truth, I just got more LIES, and I found myself engaging in the nonsense, and drama, and chaos.

radiant, it is your choice, but you really do not have to go there, today!.

My dad used to say, "You can put a whole tube of lipstick on a pig, and it's still a pig"

JustAGirl1971

I vote for not calling. Chances are he'll lie and it will just start you on the merry-go-round all over again. Unless you're considering taking him back, I wouldn't ask.

My AH just moved out. He has been working out and losing weight (after years of me begging him, lol.) My head keeps 'going there' but I refuse to entertain those thoughts. We are no longer together and what he does/who he chooses to spend his time with is no longer my business. I refuse to waste my mental and emotional energy worrying about it.

Now, I think you said in another post that you need to know because it will affect your spousal support? If that's the case, then have you considered hiring a private investigator?

Pia

I realized drum roll please!!!!!

It can wait the best thing to do is just wait and it will come out sooner or later.

Who cares if it's later right. In the grand scheme I have other things to worry about.

The relationship is dead regardless if it is or isn't. There is no chance of hope in me left.

I feel like I ran all over Texas to come to that conclusion.

AnvilheadII

all this because.....he took a shower. and came home at some indeterminate hour.

good lord...I can't imagine having a group of people that zeroed in on when I chose to bathe....or how late I stayed out.

he IS a full grown adult right?

Pia

Ha Ha I didn't say I was the brightest crayon in the box now lol..

I guess they felt the need to tell me because we know its not in his normal character to take a shower at night and leave after 10pm. You don't take a shower to go to McDonalds.