Effecting The Kids...
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by Ofelie 
Our new house rule, if you are going to insult someone (which realistically, it happens people and we shouldn't but it happens) you have to say something nice about them first. ........ Secondly, I invoked a ten second rule. If someone in our house is angry or upset, including me, they have to wait ten seconds before responding to anything, even if it means they stand and count out loud.
Our rule is you can say it if you express being right without being self-righteous.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
Pat on the back for you guys, my counselor said a lot of the same things that were said to me here! 
You peeps really know your stuff!!
Although, she does think important that I communicate with him about the emotional abuse directed towards our daughter, but in a gentle "I" statement focused way. She also said that being able to keep my mouth shut was progress. Lol What he did was emotional abuse and triangulation by trying to bring me into a situation that had NOTHING to do with me. She said that if he's really working his program he'll be able to spot and stop this behavior on his own with his own counselor and sponsor but that my letting him know how it makes ME feel is healthy for me.
You peeps really know your stuff!! Although, she does think important that I communicate with him about the emotional abuse directed towards our daughter, but in a gentle "I" statement focused way. She also said that being able to keep my mouth shut was progress. Lol What he did was emotional abuse and triangulation by trying to bring me into a situation that had NOTHING to do with me. She said that if he's really working his program he'll be able to spot and stop this behavior on his own with his own counselor and sponsor but that my letting him know how it makes ME feel is healthy for me.
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