SparkleKitty

I am not sure the peace you seek to move forward can come from anyone but yourself, Roxy. Sending you strength and hugs.

HopefulinFLA

If you're afraid of falling for him again or other adverse effects than maybe you're not ready to see him yet. The end result should be a positive experience for you, not negative.

CAPTAINZING2000

Pray for him. He might not change but you will.
He will continue to control you until you can let him go.

AnvilheadII

make peace with yourself.

Roxxxy

Thanks for all your responses. Your comments have all reinforced me to think that its probably not good for me to get in contact. I know it will open up the same door that I closed a year ago. Yes .. I need to work on myself and find peace within. I'm still very fragile.

marie1960

Thinking you answered your own question, when you stated " you know he is not good for you"

You can write it all down, doesn't mean you have to send it.

JMHO, but if you are still healing, I wouldn't do anything to rock the boat and cause yourself any additional grief, and another question i would ask myself, those "emotions" that I just can't seem to shake, exactly who do they belong to? Me ? or Him ? Leaning towards this is more an inside job, but that's just my thought.

peace.

Roxxxy

marie1960: Those emotions belong to me. Not him. I once thought he was worthy of me sharing my emotions & life with him. I was wrong. However, the fact that I couldn't change him into a sober was something I couldn't understand. I was offended he choice alcohol over me. I have my weak moments now and then and do miss him. Yet, I question at times what I miss about him. Strangely to say I have problems coming up with a few answers only because the negatives out weighed the positives in relationship.

Still very anger & full of resentment not sure how to let it go at times. I can be a few months feeling positive and happy and full of new beginnings in my life then all of a sudden lightning comes and it strikes me with all my emotions towards him that I still have bottled up.

I tried dating again. I know this sounds bad but I've actually dated three men after him within that year. Not sure if it's a good thing or bad. All relationships were toxic and my behavior towards them has been very unlike who I am as a person. Yes I can be very fiesty and blunt st times. But the disrespect I was giving these men was uncalled for. I know for the most part the toxic relationships contributed towards awful behavior but I just don't like acting like that. Doesn't serve me any good.

I'm single now and am not looking to date anytime soon. I still have a whole lot of healing I need to do within myself. ~ Live ~ Love ~ Laugh