meattandlisa

im new its my first time ever in a chat room, i cant spell well and im not sure if this is where i should be. i do know im desperate for some halp. ive been searching for answers, and this place seemed way better than the doc phil site. im married to a musician 4 years now we have 2 children 3 year old boy and 1 yr. old girl, he is an alcoholic. says he as to be. to get on stage. luckly he is on the rosd alot, i cant believe i just said that. anyway i saw fathersday bust artical and because im running out of time he will be home in a few hours, and i have to clean house and get kids ready to go to inlaws be ready by thetime he gets home. i decided this is whear id try to start to get some answers. im not perfect and im full of excuses, and i know i have got to stop because his drinking has been, up till now hurting only me, the other night or morning 3am he did as he always does wakes me and son yells his mean words to me. breaks a few things around the house. then goes to bed or in his studio to pass out. their is so much more to say their but im in a hurry and what i really want to say is that my son, this time while holding my hand as usual, whispered (cuz we are pretending to be asleep )it works better than trying to be nice and tell him what he wants to hear so kids dont wakw then getting sexualy abused so he will fall asleep. sorry for that. so now he wispers its ok dont be scared i reply im not scared im tired. r u scared? ya, in the sweetest soft voice ever daddys drunk. and i said ya its ok baby go back to sleep im rite hear and i love you so much. i love you more he says. NOW thay speaks volumes in so many ways. i dont have any idea what to do im not interested in leaveing my home i dont want a divorce even tho he does when hes drinking i dont want to listen to him snoreing all day when he is home cuzim tired and takeing on more than i cn handle sceduling and it gona get worse as the kid get older and he wants to quit sometimes i think hes getting close cuz the fighting is getting out of hand and i know im babbeling but i dont care. i jusat want to know what to do. i wish my mom was alive still so i could run and hide like always but she died of alcoholism september2001. yes that liquid substance has been a part of my life for a long time. i hope this finds it way to someone out there. more importantly i hope i can find out how to live with this.

Gabe

meattandlisa,
I moved your post to your own thread so it wouldn't get lost in the other one.
Thanks sdp for the heads up.
Gabe

mexchick

Hi this is also my first time to chat and i can say i dont type well other,i am the one with a drinking problem and i need help

mexchick

i dont know how to get on to chat with anyone,will someone help me

splendra

meattandlisa
Welcome and (((((((((((((((((big hug))))))))))))))))) 4 U and your kids. It sounds like you may need help dealing with violence and alcoholism. Perhaps a womens shelter could help you understand the dimentions better than I can of what you are dealing with. It sounds like you are in a dangerous situation and need to get out!! You have been putting up with some pretty bad stuff there kid-o. I am concerned for you and your children. Please try to look up a shelter for battered women. You could call the police non emergency line and they should be able to help you. At very least you need counseling that deals with living in violence but, it sounds like you need to get out!! If you were my daughter and you told me this I would be trying to get you out of that situation!!! Please stay in touch and let us know how you are. OKAY?

mooselips

Hiya Meattandlisa,
Yes, it sounds like you are in a bad situation there.
But, you said you did not want to leave him, or your home. I'm not sure of any other alternative.
You need to think about the way your children are being subjected to his tirades. It's not fair...to you, or the children to be in that environment.

Someone could get hurt, you/and/ or the children. Look up the names and numbers of shelters.....get yourself some information.......

Stay safe......

Chy

Here is the link to the Chat forum. Go through the various thread so you can get a feel how it all works. Additionally, there is information if you have trouble logging into chat.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...splay.php?f=59

Jillychatchat

Hi Meatandlisa, My heart goes out to you...I was in a simular situation like yours at one time...I lived with a man who was a drunk and a used drugs...I didn't have children to worry over...I did fear what he would do next to me though...I finally got the courage to just shut the door one day and not open it...I called the police on him and they came to my aide...It was the begining of a new day for me...Then I removed my belongings from that place and went to a safe place...A place where I knew if he found me I could at least be protected...Lisa...make the time to choose...you'll feel better and your kids are worth it...remember...."YOU'RE SPECIAL".... Jilly

When a door closes...watch for the window of opporturity...never stop dreaming...they come true everyday

ChillGal

Meatandlisa
I am thinking of you and sending you a big hug. I can remember times when I was scared. All I can say is that when I finally decided that I had had enough I knew when that was. It was just something inside that finally hitme. I still loved that man with all my heart and did not WANT to leave but I finally made it. I can remember being scared when our son was about 1 1/2 and I didn't make that decision until he was 13. I just hope and pray that not leaving earlier did not affect him too bad. Anyway it was when he knew I was REALLY leaving that he started AA. He has been going to AA for over 3 years now and I just started going to Alanon. I guess because I am beginning to think this thing might last. Try alanon (even just a phone call to start) and think about what you want to do for you and your children. And maybe your husband too. Keep safe.