msgalizia

I love a man who has a serious drinking problem but he thinks he can handle it on his own. He starts arguements with me so he can spend time alone drinking. I am alone more often than not. We have been in a relationship for 10 years. The first seven so perfect, we know each other so well and enjoy being together, at least we used to. I am heart broken and dont know where to turn anymore.
Some say walk away but how do you walk away from someone you love who is in trouble. He drinks and drives and has been arrested for drinking under the influence already. I am afraid he will hurt himself and someone else.

Stung

I can relate. My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 3 of those years. We have two small children together. Before we had kids he didn't have a drinking problem. We had lots of fun and loved spending time together. Even at this point last year things were still pretty fabulous. Then something started to go wrong with him and he started trying to make himself feel better with alcohol.

He no longer lives with us. Why? Because although I love him and I've been with him for 10+ years and we have babies together, I cannot make him stop drinking. No one can make him stop drinking except for himself. And living with an alcoholic that you love is a living nightmare.

You cannot make your alcoholic stop drinking either. All you can do is take care of yourself. Walking away is hard but its probably the safest thing (emotionally and mentally) for you to do for yourself.

Sending you hugs.

Mango blast

Alanon. My only regret is not having started getting support for myself much sooner. I'm a long time member here and am now getting counseling at inpatient family week. Now I realize I needed this decades ago. I didn't need to wait until there was a big problem with alcohol. At the very least, going to Alanon in the past few years or months would have been great for me. At least I'm finally going now.

So sorry to hear of your situation, but welcome to SR. Stick around and keep posting.