Snood

I know it. I know I shouldn't be a bottle-counter. But sometimes, I simply can't believe how much is being used.

This last 2-weeks, wifey's had 14.5 - yes, fourteen and a half bottles of sparkly. A half bottle of the sweet version was supposed to have gone down the drain. Funny, it took the first half-bottle to convince her it was too sweet.

This is from the concrete evidence. She's been to three Christmas dinners and a dining out evening. Yes of course, darling, you're paying a £20 bar bill but three others helped you drain the bottle? Red Leader to Pork Squadron, methinks.

So, at least 1.125 bottles per day. Which prompts me to ask her...

"What the juddering f**K is wrong with you?

suki44883

Sounds like what is wrong with her is a drinking problem. You might benefit from Alanon meetings. You already know you can't control her drinking, so maybe you should concentrate on the things you can control?

Stung

My AH drinks in secret and solo so I have no hard evidence of what he's drinking or how much, only what he eventually and grievously confesses to. But I do know that he used to wake up in the middle of the night and drink a whole bottle of wine by himself and then go back to bed. It's a lot of alcohol but like PP said, you can't control how much she's drinking. You can only control yourself.

Lewis73

mad isnt it! my wife is 5ft6 and slim....yet will do 12 cans of 440ml bud in a day!

HikerLady

It is just mind blowing how much they can drink sometimes. It's also mind blowing how often we feel the need to check it or keep track. I slip up myself now and then, but less and less as it doesn't change anything and ALWAYS ALWAYS leaves me feeling as if I just wasted my time reaffirming what I already knew, my AH is an alcoholic. I didn't cause it, can't cure it, or control it. One blessing we loved ones have is the ability to wake up to reality and make our lives better. Alcoholics live in an alternate universe I think. Someone else here said they are like zombies...it really fits. No matter how many times you try to reason with a zombie they are still going to go after brains, or in their case booze..that's their fixation, not yours. Glad you shared this as it's a great reminder for me to keep my fixation out of the zombies world.

hopeful4

I can attest to the opposite also. My AH will say, I only had one beer. Yes, it was a 32 oz can with the highest proof you can find that you drank while under the influence of prescription medication that clearly states not to drink...Xanax. Scary. And stupid.

"But it was only one....." ha. Idiot.

Snood

Thank you, people,

I think some of the checking is more about verification than about anything else. After 10 years, I can forecast quite accurately how she'll be with me after a particular number of glasses/bottles.

She drinks while cooking and whenever she's alone in the kitchen. So sad, just one step away from the brown paper bag.

I'm still going to Al-Anon meetings - they help with the hurt. And my counsellor is also a great help. It seems to me that my not mentioning booze is currently making it worse...

...or is it that Christmas is near?
...or that there's an 'R' in the month?
...or that stepdaughter is on too good a thing to 'get better'?
...or that our business could be doing better?

Give me strength

hopeful4

Hugs Snood....Breathe. It's baby steps...keep going to Alanon and work on you. I understand what you mean. I check our account sometimes before I go home after work just because I want to know what I am dealing with once I get there.

Recovering2

Serenity Prayer comes in handy when things are tough......I can say it 50 times a day when family A's try to take my serenity!

Hammer

Yeah, I (still) find myself counting dirty dishes -- being a detective, tracking resurgent Anorexia -- like I am going to be able to do something about that.

As far as forecasting. 11 y.o. Daughter and I got kind of stuck on that for a while, too. We had a Weather Forecast Code worked out. Sunny Day, Cloudy, Stormy, Hurricane. For texting and tracking Mrs. Hammer's behaviors. Since the weather is something we can chat about and if Mrs. Hammer read it, it would just look the weather.

Daughter is actually doing much better than I am on the Codie stuff, now. Last time sat down to talk about it we made up a Thermometer scale of the stuff, and drew out a picture of "the Hurricane."

Here is what we figured out -- the Hurricane, while its outer winds may be blowing 100 mph -- actually moves in any real direction rather slowly. Mostly just a big circle of blowing chaos all around the center -- just like an A. But once you know what the Hurricane is, you can just step out its way and let it go past. Pretty much the same thing we now do with Mrs. Hammer.