Jordyne1225

I believe last time I posted on here i said things were going well with my mom...Im sad to say that she has slipped back into her old habits and is continuing to crush me and kill me inside. After work on friday, she drank a bottle of wine and a couple beers and my little brother and I could obviously tell she's drunk.. but in our home we are pretty used to it. My little brother had a big hockey game the whole family was going to, but my little brother was so scared and embarrased about my mom being drunk and wanted her to stay home to avoid anything from happening. He was crying and so upset right before his big night because of my moms drinking, as usual. When my mom drinks a lot, she gets really sad and emotional around everyone and I am so sick and tired of it. So if my mom is like that, and i tell her to stay away from me.. she'll go off and cry or be upset and my dad will just say " wow why are you doing that to her" defending my mom as usual. I just want things to be normal, i hate having to constanly come home from school or work and checking for warning signs of her being drunk. Or even having family dinner and she starts acting crazy and annoying because shes been drinking. We always have "family discussions" about my moms drinking but I am so sick and tired of hearing the same old excuses and promises so i usually get mad and go cry in my room alone. I have no one to open up to besides my little brother, but i dont want him to be upset so i try not to... my dad is too much of an enabler and always on my moms side about things to i cant talk to him.... Alcohol is ruining my mom, and i just want to get out of my house but im too young...

Yurt

Jordyne, I'm not sure how old you are, but it seems like you might be in High School, or perhaps a bit younger. This issue is so difficult for adults, and it must be absolutely overwhelming for adolescents. My own High School age daughter has started to get involved with a support group that has formed at her school. It allows her the opportunity to get "stuff" off her chest without any repercussions from anyone else. I never hear about what goes on in these group meetings. There are usually counselors at the schools as well, and you should be able to request a meeting with one. As far as I know, you won't even need parental permission.
I am hoping that you have heard from others on this board that can tell you that you are not at fault. I have not read your previous posts, but I will later this evening. You should know that you did not cause your mother's alcoholism and you cannot control it. It is completely up to her. You should also be aware that whatever she does while she is drunk is not a reflection on you. No one thinks poorly of you, based on her actions.

I hope that you are able to find someone to talk to at your school or within your community. I'm not sure if there are many teens that are on this board, but perhaps if there are, they could chime in as well. Personally, I think that this board should consider a separate page or forum that could be monitored by an adult that is familiar with teen issues (HAMMER!!!).

SnoozyQ

Dear Jordyne .

Your post struck a cord in me as you could have been writing about me ..

The thing that you have to know first and foremost is that NONE of this is your fault and i just cannot express that enough.
I'm not going to sound condescending as you seem older above your years and with good reason.

Your Mum has a huge problem and it literally makes me cringe when you say you don't want her at your brothers sports event.

I used to go to my daughters sports intoxicated, but never thought i really was. I am SO ashamed of that now and being sober has given me time to reflect on those things and feel bad about it because I should,

Your mum has a disease and unless she treats it , things wont change. I'm sure she is just as disappointed in herself for letting you all down once again.
Your dad seems as though he just doesn't know how to deal with it , which isn't really his fault . He is probably doing the best thing he knows how to do , by being a functioning dad and having an extra child ( mum) .

Maybe you could talk to your dad about al anon .
When your mum comes out of her hangover and feels remorse ( guaranteed she will )
Why not pop this site in front of her and ask her to read through some posts.
Something may just hit home and its worth a shot.

Good luck , you sound like a lovely person and I'm sorry that you are dealing with this .xx

Jordyne1225

Along with my moms issues of drinking, she has also smoked basically her whole life. Ever since my little brother and I could remember, we've always begged and hoped she would stop. Every year its the same old thing she says to us.. "Yes i'll quit smoking and drinking " and here we are 16 years later and she still does both. Its January 12, she still smokes and she got drunk this afternoon. Its icey outside on the sidewalks so when she took our dog out for a walk drunk, she fell multiple times. I mean i cant say i feel sorry for her, she does it to herself. I have nothing to do with it. Im just sitting in my room doing my homework. Im almost at the age that i will be heading to university soon, and whenever i bring up the subject of me leaving home for university, she tells me always that i should stay home and study here in our city to save money. She doesn't get it, I want to get out of this house and away from her drunkness. I hate dealing with it. Whenever i say this, she's like "oh please, as if my drinking is that bad" and brushes it off. But id say my dad's the worst, whenever i say anything about my moms drinking problem, he immediately defends her and yells at me. He's always like "stop overreacting or be quiet. It is so annoying, and i always say to him, how do you know... you're not the kid here, I am. He has no idea how it is here, I know my mom, I know she's not going to stop any time soon unless something very drastic happens. Its weird because she's an off and on drinker, she has a really good job that she is fully committed to, but a couple times a month she messes up and gets drunk and does stupid things.