What's a good gift for the unrepentant alcoholic in your life?
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by spiderqueen 
For XABF's birthday, right before we split, I gave him one of my favorite photos of HIM, told him he was beautiful, and that I would always love him.
And then I let him go.
And then I let him go.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by Spinner-007
...and now for an update:
The AW found the site and read my posts(which I found out later).
The AW found the site and read my posts(which I found out later).
and more seriously, if she reads your posts again, I sincerely hope she will get what we call "a moment of clarity" and join the Newcomer forum
here is the link
\Newcomers to Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,796
Originally Posted by Spinner-007
...and now for an update:
The AW found the site and read my posts(which I found out later).
Today I showed her yet another mini bottle I found in my daughter's bedroom. It fell out of a sweatshirt pocket, which my wife occasionally wore.
She said that was from a while ago(says that a lot), and then right away told me not to worry about getting her anything for Christmas.
So NOW the question becomes this:
"What's a good gift for the unrepentant alcoholic in your life that just you not to get her/him anything?"
Once again, the floor is open.
The AW found the site and read my posts(which I found out later).
Today I showed her yet another mini bottle I found in my daughter's bedroom. It fell out of a sweatshirt pocket, which my wife occasionally wore.
She said that was from a while ago(says that a lot), and then right away told me not to worry about getting her anything for Christmas.
So NOW the question becomes this:
"What's a good gift for the unrepentant alcoholic in your life that just you not to get her/him anything?"
Once again, the floor is open.
BTW, I came up with shock collar thinking about someone at one of my meetings saying how the dogs are better behaved than the active alcoholics in her life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: The Bright Side of the Moon
Posts: 528
You know, I really believe in resolving resentment and in forgiveness, but indulging in this bitter humor is just delectable to me.
Still sorry your wife found the posts though, because IN MY EXPERIENCE WITH MY A, defense is the more likely response than any moments of clarity. Mine went into my Facebook pm's after our break up and did not like what he saw there. Pretty sure my side of that street was clean too.
Still sorry your wife found the posts though, because IN MY EXPERIENCE WITH MY A, defense is the more likely response than any moments of clarity. Mine went into my Facebook pm's after our break up and did not like what he saw there. Pretty sure my side of that street was clean too.
Bunnies!
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,905
I couldn't get my AM anything when I was younger, because she was the primary on my savings account and drained it to buy booze and expensive handbags.
I'd probably get her an urn, since she's drinking herself to death and wants to be cremated. I'm still not going to the funeral.
I'd probably get her an urn, since she's drinking herself to death and wants to be cremated. I'm still not going to the funeral.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: The Bright Side of the Moon
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I once read a novel about a teenager who got pregnant and how she dealt with it. No one seemed to know what to give a pregnant teenager for her birthday. She got socks from almost everyone who knew her.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 232
Socks is good. A gift she can really use, but doesn't really want.
Always got socks for Christmas.
My mother was not only awesome, but practical. It helped it look like a lot more packages under that tree!
Underwear as a gift makes me think of that annoying know-it-all kid with glasses in the Polar Express movie.
Always got socks for Christmas.
My mother was not only awesome, but practical. It helped it look like a lot more packages under that tree!
Underwear as a gift makes me think of that annoying know-it-all kid with glasses in the Polar Express movie.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Spinner--in all seriousness, I think it would be best to get her a gift that she might, as a woman like. Say, perfume, a pretty scarf, etc..........
I understand the bitterness and anger, well enough.
In the final analysis, we need to keep our side of the street clean. Considering the message of Christmas---treating her with dignity would seem to be the high road. She is a person--even though she is sick. Your children will be watching---and they love their mother, no matter what. If you insult their mother--you will insult them. They will carry these memories with them. I am sure that you would want them to remember that you also had compassion.
Actually, I have a feeling that this is what you will do anyway....after the joking around is over.
(I do understand your bitterness, though)
dandylion
I understand the bitterness and anger, well enough.
In the final analysis, we need to keep our side of the street clean. Considering the message of Christmas---treating her with dignity would seem to be the high road. She is a person--even though she is sick. Your children will be watching---and they love their mother, no matter what. If you insult their mother--you will insult them. They will carry these memories with them. I am sure that you would want them to remember that you also had compassion.
Actually, I have a feeling that this is what you will do anyway....after the joking around is over.
(I do understand your bitterness, though)
dandylion
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 232
Dandylion, I know and I agree with you. I won't do anything to upset the kids like that. I'd die for them so putting up with this for now isn't something I can't deal with for now. So a couple of gifts isn't going to hurt.
I don't hate her, but just hate being in this and being told at her drinking is my problem.
I'm just really tired of being in it, and maybe getting to the end of my rope.
I don't know if I have enough in my tank to even endure the rehab process if she ever decides to go that route.
Life is fun, isn't it?
I don't hate her, but just hate being in this and being told at her drinking is my problem.
I'm just really tired of being in it, and maybe getting to the end of my rope.
I don't know if I have enough in my tank to even endure the rehab process if she ever decides to go that route.
Life is fun, isn't it?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Spinner--I thought this was the case...LOL.
I know this is a really tough road for you, right now---having the small childen.
Keep doing the next right thing. I hope you are getting support from alanon (sorry, didn't read All of your past posts).
With faith and support you will work your way through this.
very sincerely,
dandylion
I know this is a really tough road for you, right now---having the small childen.
Keep doing the next right thing. I hope you are getting support from alanon (sorry, didn't read All of your past posts).
With faith and support you will work your way through this.
very sincerely,
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,038
I have to return to revise my earlier comment. I just entered my (former) family home for the first time in 15 months. So you know that Christmas gift I gave AH that he left unacknowledged? It is a piece of craftwork and it is hanging in a prominent place between the front door and kitchen. Whether he remembers who it came from and when is anyone's guess. He never mentioned it.
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