Ruby2

Hi. I've been posting but with no intro of myself. I am kind of ticked while I am writing this only because I thought I had posted intro and apparently didn't go through or computer timed out while I was dealing with some other really crazy stuff.

Prefacing this with saying that my husband and I are both alcoholics only he seems to have gotten the short end of the stick. My sobriety hangs on a string at the moment and he is in relapse following a year plus of not drinking. Telling me (quack) after I found alcohol in our car on a camping trip that he wasn't an alcoholic (after much thought) but he was a crack addict, but that I was an alcoholic and could not drink. Okay, now that makes a lot of sense to me.

We have two young children and have been married almost nine years and had not followed the no new relationships during the first year of sobriety after meeting in treatment. I am the primary support of our family - his paychecks never seem to make it home intact, if at all (another quack "I don't know what happened to it, I might have gotten robbed").

I am truly tired of all this junk. Found this website after looking for support for my drinking but find myself more drawn to the "family and friends" since I have never stolen money out of my AH wallet (doesn't have a dime to take), never taken his ATM card and taken all the money out of the account on a three day bender when we don't see him. I am tired of being the only parent to our kids.

LightInside

Welcome! I never really did an introduction. I just spilled my guts everywhere. Good for you for taking the time and best wishes with your "situation."

changeneeded

Welcome! I'm sure you've found this place to be helpful and informative. It is also filled with much love and sincere desire for one another to be safe and well.

Ruby2

Thanks. I will be here when I can since I can't generally post during business hours as I don't have computer access then. I really, really like this board because it is a life line to the fact that I am not the only person to have to deal with this insanity. I get on in the early morning and while at the office and tonight, since I "found" my voice and intro'd and have been dealing with AH and another crazy thing I have been on all night...and soon to go to bed since I do have work in the a.m.

Springs

Welcome. I hope this site can help you find the sanity and serenity you and your kids deserve.

Tuffgirl

Welcome Ruby. Glad you found us.

No, you aren't the only one dealing with the insanity that comes with addictions. You'll find great company here at SR, so keep coming back!

And because you are the only parent, hang on tight to your sobriety, if not for you then for your kids right now. They need a stable, present, available parent. You'll be glad you did, because they grow up so fast and this time is fleeting.

Peace,
~T

DreamsofSerenity

Hi Ruby,

I am also glad you are here. I hope we can help support you in your sobriety, and also in dealing with the insanity of living with an active addict.

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Ruby2

Thank you all. It is a tough road. AH went out again last night. I was angry with hi and myself because I gave him the $20 he asked for. If I don't give it to him he will only continue to badger me so that I can't sleep. He came home at who knows what time but at least I got sleep.

Just made me mad that he was doing this in front of our 8 year old son who couldn't sleep. The bugging me part, not the drinking. That poor kid was just looking for daddy's attention and not getting it. To spend time with dad. Our 5 year old was already in bed, asleep. How young or old before you talk to the kids about alcoholism?

Katiekate

Hi Ruby, welcome.

Please do whatever it takes to maintain your sobriety.

Your children need one level headed parent, and you are it, thank God for you.

Please consider some alanon meetings or counseling, for you and your precious children, the addict is not the most important person in the house, your children are. I know you know that.

Please keep posting, we are here and we care.

Katie

Ruby2

Katiekate thanks. You just reminded me that I have to call my doctor to make sure my referral letter for counseling was processed. This is all just so frustrating. I did check out the al anon schedule and there are a few meetings in my area. Fewer than AA meetings but still some. I will talk to friends about watching the kids so I can attend. In the meantime, I will continue to read SR to know I am not alone and there are a lot of people out there who understand and have been through this craziness.

BookNerd

Welcome Ruby!

Sober Recovery is an amazing place. There is so much love and support to be found on these boards. I'm glad you're here.

Florence

There are lots of "double winners" on this board. They'll probably be along soon to say hi.

Welcome!

Ruby2

Hi Florence. First time I ever heard the term "double winners" was when I was in rehab last year. It made me laugh for some perverse reason. I like your Oscar Wilde quote. Always be careful for what you ask for...you might just get it.