It's not my business?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 54
It's not my business?
He's taking antibuse. Yay!!! I so enjoy him when he's sober
But he's also "forgetting" to take it sometimes and having "a drink". I get so caugt up in it. I wish I could really not make it my business. But I do. I say,"At least let me know you've been drinkin and give me the choice" and then I text, "Only call me and see me when you haven't been drinking." This is how the crazy starts. I need to go to a meeting, stat!!!
But he's also "forgetting" to take it sometimes and having "a drink". I get so caugt up in it. I wish I could really not make it my business. But I do. I say,"At least let me know you've been drinkin and give me the choice" and then I text, "Only call me and see me when you haven't been drinking." This is how the crazy starts. I need to go to a meeting, stat!!!
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Good start.
Suppose you eventually bump it up to "if you have not been drinking" . . . for a day . . . for two days . . . a week, month, year . . .
But one step at a time.
Keep the detachment and get your boundaries.
Suppose you eventually bump it up to "if you have not been drinking" . . . for a day . . . for two days . . . a week, month, year . . .
But one step at a time.
Keep the detachment and get your boundaries.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
The last six months with XA, my personal boundary was if you are drinking today, i will see you tomorrow.
Well hell, that did not work, he is an effin liar.
While he tried real hard to act sober, often claiming he was just tired, my inner voice was saying the exact opposite. AND when he passed out in the chair, my sense of smell got a whiff of him, I had all the confirmation I needed.
Sending you strength and support.
Well hell, that did not work, he is an effin liar.
While he tried real hard to act sober, often claiming he was just tired, my inner voice was saying the exact opposite. AND when he passed out in the chair, my sense of smell got a whiff of him, I had all the confirmation I needed.
Sending you strength and support.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((goodstitch))
I hope you were able to make that meeting ~ for me those are so great in helping me regain my strength.
For me, in recovery I learned that I could take my power back . . .
This reading helped me so much "Never let me imagine that my satisfaction with life depends on what someone else may do." ODAT in Al-Anon pg 234
For me, in letting the A decide - if I don't drink then I can be with her or if I do drink then I can't ~ well I'm not sure what I'm going to do today - so she will just have to wait ~ gave all my power away ~ I was waiting on someone else to decide how my life was going to go that day. . .
With the help of recovery, my sponsor & my HP - I started living my life as I wanted and if the A's in my life were sober they could join me & participate - if they showed up under the influence - I respectfully asked them to leave or I left. If they didn't show up - I continued my plans without them.
For me, it was about taking my life back ~
That's what worked for me - wishing you the best
PINK HUGS!
I hope you were able to make that meeting ~ for me those are so great in helping me regain my strength.
For me, in recovery I learned that I could take my power back . . .
This reading helped me so much "Never let me imagine that my satisfaction with life depends on what someone else may do." ODAT in Al-Anon pg 234
For me, in letting the A decide - if I don't drink then I can be with her or if I do drink then I can't ~ well I'm not sure what I'm going to do today - so she will just have to wait ~ gave all my power away ~ I was waiting on someone else to decide how my life was going to go that day. . .
With the help of recovery, my sponsor & my HP - I started living my life as I wanted and if the A's in my life were sober they could join me & participate - if they showed up under the influence - I respectfully asked them to leave or I left. If they didn't show up - I continued my plans without them.
For me, it was about taking my life back ~
That's what worked for me - wishing you the best
PINK HUGS!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 54
Thank you everyone! I'm doing very well today and have a meeting tonight. I've never been able to keep my word to myself when I've told him he needs to be sober for a year. I know I let myself down when I do that so I've been working on not saying what I won't be able to back up.
I'm glad that I can acknowledge when I'm uncomfortable and take myself out of the situation and not worry about whether he will be there for me or not. Deep down I want more and I feel I'm getting closer. My life really is great and I've done so many things without him that I know my happiness doesn't depend on him.
I almost started worrying about how my reaction was going to affect him and then I thought, "That's his problem! I'm entitled to my feelings and my voice and if he doesn't like it, too bad!"
I'm not going to say what's going to happen, I'm just going to enjoy my evening
I'm glad that I can acknowledge when I'm uncomfortable and take myself out of the situation and not worry about whether he will be there for me or not. Deep down I want more and I feel I'm getting closer. My life really is great and I've done so many things without him that I know my happiness doesn't depend on him.
I almost started worrying about how my reaction was going to affect him and then I thought, "That's his problem! I'm entitled to my feelings and my voice and if he doesn't like it, too bad!"
I'm not going to say what's going to happen, I'm just going to enjoy my evening
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
