ZenMe

My friends are getting better at not telling me about my X however they slipped today since a lot of friends, X included with her new bf are off having fun in a huge 90+ tues->sunday lake trip.

Whenever someone mentions her I get a migraine. This happen to anyone else?

Seren

I think this, too, shall pass. I did not get migraines when someone mentioned my ex-husband (not an A), but I used to get an upset stomach ( I know, TMI! )

This passed with time, and I can now actually talk about him without a ruffle of a feather

Florence

ZenMe, what I wish for you is that when you get news like "a lot of friends, X included with her new bf are off having fun in a huge 90+ tues->sunday lake trip," you think, I will gently suggest that if the mere mention of your ex has you experiencing physical symptoms that you need to see a medical professional who can help you manage and deal with anxiety in a long-term way. That's not about your ex, per se, it's about how you've internalized stress. Based on your stories of your FOO, my hunch is that this is all related.

I never got headaches, I had anxiety attacks.

POAndrea

No migraines, but sometimes my right eyelid starts twitching, and then if I can't get some kind of control I start having chest pains. (Yes, I saw the doctor, and he says my heart is "perfectly healthy, just breaking". Yikes.)

ZenMe

Florence,

That's a great way to look at it. I also do think that. My brain gets a little crazy when I catch myself thinking she's all better with her new life.

Which of course is a fallacy and at this point NON OF MY BUSINESS. =)

I didn't notice the headaches were related since they had some sort of delayed start. I thought they were caffeine related.

Is this something a therapist can handle or should I seek someone different?

Thanks.

trixie56

I also get physical symptoms when I start thinking/talking about my exA sometimes...Usually headaches or upset stomach. What helps me though, is to stop and do some deep breathing or even journaling...Anything to get my mind off of the worrying/obsessive thoughts. I do think this is anxiety related, but I wouldn't necessarily say you need to see a therapist, unless the anxiety is taking over your life. A therapist would probably suggest you do deep breathing, journaling, exercise, etc.,..At least, that's what my therapist suggested. It helps to talk things out, but sometimes I think we can help ourselves more than a professional..

FireSprite

I agree with Florence that when it starts to manifest physically like this it's worth discussing with a healthcare professional. Has it happened multiple times, Zen?

If you are already seeing a therapist or counselor I think that's a great starting place - bring it up during your session & see whether they think it needs to be referred to a different type of professional.

It's c-r-a-z-y how all these things interconnect isn't it? (FOO, AGF, your physical well being.... etc.) In my experience things like reiki can help with these manifestatons, but I think a counselor can help you dig deeper into the triggers so that you can stop it from happening at all.

ZenMe

It's happened 3 times. I hit these little bumps but overall things are getting better. Yes I am definitely amazed at how interconnected everything is, and why it's so important to sort somethings out while I'm single.

DesertEyes

Hello ZenMe, and pleased to "meet" you

When I was still mired in the chaos of my co-dependency I was extremely busy, did not have time to go to the doctor for my yearly checkup. Most of that busy-ness was covering up her behavior in the hopes that she would not lose her job. I would get these funny aches in my left shoulder, but nothing serious. Nope. Not serious at all.

After I left the aches got worse, so I finally went to see a doctor. The doctor walked me across the hall to a cardiologist, who after looking at my EKG told me to lie down and shipped me off to the ER.

It has been _eleven_ heart attacks since then. Had I been taking care of myself the way any normal human being does I likely could have avoided most of them. Perhaps I could have postponed all my health problems for a few years. But I was not normal, I was up to my eyeballs in denial and my own issues.

It took me a few years playing catch up with my health. I've learned to work towards a balance in my life. I have learned from my docs which symptoms to watch, which to ignore, when to call in sick to work and when to call an ambulance.

What I do is to "act normal", which means do what normal people do; Medical check up once a year, Dentist twice a year, etc. etc.

Maybe it's just a headache. I can't imagine anybody having lived with an alkie/addict and _not_ having headaches. However, only a Doctor can answer your question _safely_.

Mike

ZenMe

Hi Mike,

Nice to "meet" you as well. Wow, eleven? I didn't even know that could happen. I hope everything is ok on that front now. It turns out earlier this year I nearly passed out twice because of some stomach virus although the DRs weren't 100%. My stomach hurt like crazy both times. I was in the hospital for 2 days and they did every test possible. MRI, ekg, echocardiogram with bubble, blood work, etc, etc. I passed everything with flying colors. If it does persist I will not hesitate to go to the doctor.

Thank You for your concern.

KKE

I started suffering from migraines not long after my partners addiction got really bad ( around two years ago). Started getting them on and off over the years, always linked to him. He's been sober since early this year and interestingly I still get migraines, usually linked to stress but not always. I'm medicated for them now. Anyway point being I believe they were triggered by the stress of bein with an A and now they're just there (the aftermath!). Or it could be coincidental and they just happened.