jessicajoe

I know I should laugh.

Apparently he is going to buy beer today (he told me matter of fact on his 7th night sober last night)
Apparently he has "proved" he can stop whenever he wants (really?)
Apparently stopping was my idea and he didn't want to (this one is total fabrication. His evidence is a snippet of conversation where we were talking about getting married and I said "people leave relationships with alcoholics, they don't get deeper into them"

But the icing on the cake is. The recovery book that I bought and was so pleased to see him engrossed in apparently says you should choose a date in the future to stop and you shouldn't decide to stop when you are drunk.

hmmm not really aimed at people who have already stopped for a week I don't think.

so,the book says it, I bought the book, therefore I am somehow responsible for his choice to start drinking again.

I'll laugh when I'm done crying. I promise.

honeypig

Isn't that the truth, JJ, isn't that the truth...

So sorry this happened, but I think you had mentioned you were waiting for the other shoe to drop, so at least you know you were living in the real world, and that is no small triumph, either.

And as far as him being "sober" just b/c he didn't drink for a week--well, maybe in a sense. Maybe "sober", but sure as hell not in any kind of recovery, and as has been mentioned in any number of threads here, simply removing the alcohol doesn't fix the problems.

Hang in, keep on taking care of you.

And again, so sorry you're feeling what you're feeling right now. We're here for you.

amy55

It is funny how they can twist things around, and it is all your fault, and of course the book that you bought.

My ex used to tell me "this is my last beer.............................................u ntil my next"

(((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

dancingnow

I'll never forget the look on my RAH face when I said in exasperation - "I suppose you think it's raining outside because I told it to rain".

It looked for a moment he actually believed that I would and could wield that much power as to cause everything wrong in his life to happen.

Nope

Ugh. They'll say anything that strikes them as the truth at that moment, won't they? One minute it was his decision, the next minute I forced it on him. One minute he can't live without me, the next minute he thinks he should be entitled to some other reward besides just keeping me in his life... a reward like being able to buy a motorcycle. *eye roll* I've already accepted that this early on sober or not, it is still the alcohol doing the talking. I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone. (Day two of second sobriety attempt in a week over here.) It is true that the best thing you can do is take care of you.

hypochondriac

Interesting. What was the book? I may be inclined to double check that. The problem with alcoholics and words on pages is that they are so easy to twist to our own warped way of thinking. It may have said, don't read this drunk, or plan your recovery when you are sober. The problem then comes if you are never sober... We can use anything as an excuse to drink again.

jessicajoe

honey pig, Thank you.It seems you are always there and always responding to mine and other peoples posts. Sites like this thrive because of people like you. I "felt" your understanding. Thank you.

amy, yup, at one point last night (while I was "trying" not to engage, hey I'm new to this,)he actually said " because I'm drinking tomorrow doesn't mean I'm not stopping. I need to take it one day at a time and tomorrow I'm buying beer" I don't think he liked my response of "I thought it was sobriety that went one day at a time not alcoholism."

dancing now. I hear you and I can't read your signature anywhere on the site without starting singing the song.

Nope,yup (that just made me grin,nope yup) "I won't want to be with him if he gets sober because he will just be miserable all the time"

hypochondriac, I'm sure you're right "Living Sober Sucks! (but living drunk sucks more)" by Mark A. Tuschel is the book. I'm sure it's not every bodies first choice but I thought it would appeal to my partner and curiously he fell asleep reading it even after that conversation took place.