OT- Update - got papers served on myself
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
OT- Update - got papers served on myself
For those who have been great with your support here is an update.
I went to see my lawyer this morning even though I haven't been served with any legal papers. We discussed parental orders etc. She said I am allowed to go to courthouse & see if there are papers there so after the lawyers appointment I did just that. They were there & I got them served on myself. I went straight back to lawyer & advised her & made appointment next week to go over filing my defence. I have 21 days.
XH wants kids to live with him for 1 week & me for the next week.
I have had day to day care for 7 years. He has been overseas for 21/2 of them. The children have stability & strict routine with me & I feel the week about is disrupting & not necessary. I would be willing to give him extra time but with the least amount of disruption I can.
For now I am remaing calm, at least now I know where I stand.
I would like some of you to pray for me & my children & any encouragement or hugs directed to me would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
I went to see my lawyer this morning even though I haven't been served with any legal papers. We discussed parental orders etc. She said I am allowed to go to courthouse & see if there are papers there so after the lawyers appointment I did just that. They were there & I got them served on myself. I went straight back to lawyer & advised her & made appointment next week to go over filing my defence. I have 21 days.
XH wants kids to live with him for 1 week & me for the next week.
I have had day to day care for 7 years. He has been overseas for 21/2 of them. The children have stability & strict routine with me & I feel the week about is disrupting & not necessary. I would be willing to give him extra time but with the least amount of disruption I can.
For now I am remaing calm, at least now I know where I stand.
I would like some of you to pray for me & my children & any encouragement or hugs directed to me would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
Not sure about that Jazzman.
Because he's been away 21/2 years I don't know if he still uses.
I received one text that wasn't supposed to go to me last year & that was drug related.
At present I have a legal document in place which gives me day to day care & him every 2nd weekend. It is an agreement not an order. I am reverting back to that legal document until this is all sorted out. If 1 night during the week is asked for then I may agree for the kids but I am not agreeing to week about ever.
Because he's been away 21/2 years I don't know if he still uses.
I received one text that wasn't supposed to go to me last year & that was drug related.
At present I have a legal document in place which gives me day to day care & him every 2nd weekend. It is an agreement not an order. I am reverting back to that legal document until this is all sorted out. If 1 night during the week is asked for then I may agree for the kids but I am not agreeing to week about ever.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I would highly recommend you do some investigating of his life over the last 2 years. Arrests, evictions, relationships, etc. Your lawyer is only as good as the information she has available. We got lucky, as the state I lived in, public information was accessible online.
Also, if he makes more money then you, you may want to discuss with your lawyer about seeking legal fees from him. A lot if lawyers don't like to push for this because it can be a hassle to get paid.
We had to pay $50,000 of her legal bills. Her lawyer didn't push it, but she did and got it. And the kicker was....but not for her own actions, we wouldn't have been seeking custody.
Anyway, we prevailed but the emotional abuse my kids suffered was devastating. Eventually, she signed over her parental rights to avoid child support. Now that they are older, she has been trying to contact them via Facebook after 8 yrs of no contact at all.
You and your kids are in my prayers. Hang in there.
Also, if he makes more money then you, you may want to discuss with your lawyer about seeking legal fees from him. A lot if lawyers don't like to push for this because it can be a hassle to get paid.
We had to pay $50,000 of her legal bills. Her lawyer didn't push it, but she did and got it. And the kicker was....but not for her own actions, we wouldn't have been seeking custody.
Anyway, we prevailed but the emotional abuse my kids suffered was devastating. Eventually, she signed over her parental rights to avoid child support. Now that they are older, she has been trying to contact them via Facebook after 8 yrs of no contact at all.
You and your kids are in my prayers. Hang in there.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
Lovemenow, that sucks.
Thanks for sharing.
Where I live I can apply for legal aid as I have such a low income (work only 30hrs per week).
I would imagine he will do the same & as he has just returned from another country & doesn't have a job & is going for joint custody he probably won't try to get one.
I have been through 5 child support reviews over the years.
I have documentation of how difficult it has been to track him down & evaluate him. It also shows job instability.
He has however improved on that since being in another country.
I remembered lastnight that 7 years ago when we split I went & did a parenting through separation course. I was given a DVD for children which explains all sorts but remembered it had a going to court section.
I put it on lastnight & there was a lawyer for the child speaking about the process. I think this cleared a few questions for my eldest daughter who has told me she wishes to be impartial in a decision.
Thanks for sharing.
Where I live I can apply for legal aid as I have such a low income (work only 30hrs per week).
I would imagine he will do the same & as he has just returned from another country & doesn't have a job & is going for joint custody he probably won't try to get one.
I have been through 5 child support reviews over the years.
I have documentation of how difficult it has been to track him down & evaluate him. It also shows job instability.
He has however improved on that since being in another country.
I remembered lastnight that 7 years ago when we split I went & did a parenting through separation course. I was given a DVD for children which explains all sorts but remembered it had a going to court section.
I put it on lastnight & there was a lawyer for the child speaking about the process. I think this cleared a few questions for my eldest daughter who has told me she wishes to be impartial in a decision.
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