bigbasscat

She's pretty much been on a binge, blackouts, etc.

I gave her the ultimatum on 10 July that she'd have to find a new place to live asap.

She has not contacted anyone in her family or her circle of friends, and as best as I can determine has answered 1 dog-friendly roommate ad on craigslist - pretty hard to look for a place to live when you're passed out on the couch.

That's what I came home to yesterday. She started in with a rant about how her job isn't working out, other employees got raises and promotions, she didn't (on probation for being drunk otj) and then she passed out for three hours.

Before, I would have made dinner, woke her up to get her to eat and tried in general to "fix" things.

What I did yesterday was make dinner for me, took care of the animals, took the dog for a quick walk, watched what I wanted to on TV, and when she came to and started in on her "pour me..." rant, I went to bed.

I know things are going to get worse before they get better, but taking back my life and practicing self-care takes much of the stress out of what I'm going through.

DreamsofSerenity

Good for you. You sound like you are making huge progress.

Is there a deadline by which she has to move out?

Hammer

Sounds good by me.

Only advice I could give is work those Step 11 prayers and go His Way, His Will.

LexieCat

Trust me, she will not find a place on her own.

This will be dragged out as long as she can get away with it.

My SUGGESTION is that you tell her she is gone in two weeks, so she better get busy. And when the day comes, you ask for your key back, tell her that her stuff will be in boxes whenever she is ready to pick it up, and escort her to the door.

One thing--have you checked your laws to be sure you don't have to go through formal eviction proceedings? Some states require that--ridiculous, imo, when it isn't a paying tenant.

NeedHappiness

yep....I just went thru the same thing BAC.... I gave my XABF 2 weeks to find a place and get out. I even helped him pack. He milked everythig until the very last minute, and then had to act like an ass right be fore he left.I said I would be home last Friday after work to get my keys....his truck was there but not him. Called and he came home from the neighbors so that he could THROW the key onto the counter and slam the door when he left.
I feel certain he thought I would change my mind during that 2 week period, but I did not.

Great job of taking care of yourself and not going into the "fix-mode". I made a whole lot of dinners for myself and took the the dog on walks too.
I feel such a relief now that he is gone! First thing I did was rearrange furniture and clean.... to have a fresh start. Also took an hour for myself to do some reading on my self-help books.
Things will be looking up for you soon BAC.
Stay strong and determined