Young child within a AH divorce
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 25
Young child within a AH divorce
Hello team SR,
Thanks for all your posts and experiences. They are helping me tremendously.
I would like to ask again for your input. Can you suggest some reading materials on how to handle/ what to expect from my 4y/o child as my AW and I split apart?
Thanks in advance!
PS
Thanks for all your posts and experiences. They are helping me tremendously.
I would like to ask again for your input. Can you suggest some reading materials on how to handle/ what to expect from my 4y/o child as my AW and I split apart?
Thanks in advance!
PS
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
I have not found any book/literature for that age... I have a just barely turned 5 yo and an 7 yo.
Telling my girls it's not their doing, they did nothing wrong (to explain why their dad is gone) and MY not reacting (even when it almost kills me) when he disapppoints them and breaks promises have been my go to approaches. I let them know they are right to feel whatever they feel, they have both slept with me more since their dad left (even though it has been a long time they still like to sleep with me at times and I let them) and I just give them a lot of love and try my hardest to not let the chaos that continues with their dad, impact them or my time with them...
Taking them to a therapist was a really valuable thing I did. Maybe look into that for your 4 y/o?
Telling my girls it's not their doing, they did nothing wrong (to explain why their dad is gone) and MY not reacting (even when it almost kills me) when he disapppoints them and breaks promises have been my go to approaches. I let them know they are right to feel whatever they feel, they have both slept with me more since their dad left (even though it has been a long time they still like to sleep with me at times and I let them) and I just give them a lot of love and try my hardest to not let the chaos that continues with their dad, impact them or my time with them...
Taking them to a therapist was a really valuable thing I did. Maybe look into that for your 4 y/o?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: southern IN
Posts: 121
A good therapist who specializes in his/her age range can be of great benefit, not only for the split, but for the fact that your child will have to continue to have parenting time with the alcoholic parent. Alcoholic parents can do tremendous damage psychologically to children, not to mention the physical harm they can inflict.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
Good Thread!
Hey, PS,
Thank you for starting this discussion - I have a 3 year-old at home and though I haven't started any divorce proceedings yet, this question has been at the back of my mind the entire time.
Looking forward to peoples' reposnses here.
Thanks again.
C-OH Dad
Thank you for starting this discussion - I have a 3 year-old at home and though I haven't started any divorce proceedings yet, this question has been at the back of my mind the entire time.
Looking forward to peoples' reposnses here.
Thanks again.
C-OH Dad
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: somewhere south
Posts: 510
I have a 7 and 4 year old and this is my concern as well. I am not in the divorce process yet but may be soon if ADH doesn't agree to get sober and actively work a recovery program. I am making divorce plans and then giving him the choice of alcohol or us. I am planning to discuss it in simple terms such as "daddy has some things he needs to work on" and reassure them it's not their fault and both of us love them dearly.
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