Annoyed and sad
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Wish I knew
Posts: 428
Annoyed and sad
I've been in a bad mood lately, and grumbled on other threads..
Here's the sitch (as per Kim Possible!!)
For the past 2 months, things with my Hub have been very quiet.. i don't talk to him, and he's been partying away..
He has taken money from me, and from the kids... He uses their stash like his own loan place.. Usually without telling them. They'll go to their wallets and the wallets will be empty. He usually does pay them back, after a few pay periods, but then within a week, he is borrowing it again. I do not replace the money and tell the girls they should hide their money. I do not tell them not to lend it to them, as they will do it anyway, and I don't want them to think I'm mad at them for doing it..His form of manipulating them, and I don't want to put more guilt on them. Also, when I made a comment about this,he said their money should be in the bank...
He broke his ankle in mid march. He is on disability and gets 605 of his pay. Since then, he has given me 250. The last 2 pay periods, nothing... Oh, he can to to WWF and cub's games and the bar. God forbid he should deny himself.
His last payday was the end of April. He went out Monday night(he was out Fri note and all day Sat also) and pretty much boozed at the neighbors until Friday AM..I would call over there when i left for work, and he would come over to get them up a little later. Of course, I'm callinig to be sure they're awake. It's not like they need a lot of help-- they just need a physical presence there.
I had resigned myself to the fact that I would be paying for my own mothers Day present-- taking them to the mall and letting them go with a list. (sidenote- a guy at work gave all the girls a rose,stuffed animal and gag gift. I was almost in tears as i knew it would be my only Mom's day present I did not pay for) I thought he would go out after softball last nite, be gone today and probably tomorrow. I was wrong!!!! He came home and stayed home.
However, he is hiding away upstairs, no mention to the girls a trip to a store..
Now, for my girls b'day, they got checks. I finally took them to the bank to deposit. 1 daughter bought some of her cash, "so Daddy wouldn't take it".. Fine.. The other didn't, as she missed her sister's comment. When she got home, she went to her wallet, and $20 was missing. And note that a lot of their money is from the allowance and report card A's that *I* give them, plus money from a garage sale.
So, while I had a faint hope he would take them out, it is now gone, so I am back to my original plan. We will go to the mall in about 2 hours.. Then we will go out for a while. He will likely be gone when we get back..
:tongue-ti
Here's the sitch (as per Kim Possible!!)
For the past 2 months, things with my Hub have been very quiet.. i don't talk to him, and he's been partying away..
He has taken money from me, and from the kids... He uses their stash like his own loan place.. Usually without telling them. They'll go to their wallets and the wallets will be empty. He usually does pay them back, after a few pay periods, but then within a week, he is borrowing it again. I do not replace the money and tell the girls they should hide their money. I do not tell them not to lend it to them, as they will do it anyway, and I don't want them to think I'm mad at them for doing it..His form of manipulating them, and I don't want to put more guilt on them. Also, when I made a comment about this,he said their money should be in the bank...
He broke his ankle in mid march. He is on disability and gets 605 of his pay. Since then, he has given me 250. The last 2 pay periods, nothing... Oh, he can to to WWF and cub's games and the bar. God forbid he should deny himself.
His last payday was the end of April. He went out Monday night(he was out Fri note and all day Sat also) and pretty much boozed at the neighbors until Friday AM..I would call over there when i left for work, and he would come over to get them up a little later. Of course, I'm callinig to be sure they're awake. It's not like they need a lot of help-- they just need a physical presence there.
I had resigned myself to the fact that I would be paying for my own mothers Day present-- taking them to the mall and letting them go with a list. (sidenote- a guy at work gave all the girls a rose,stuffed animal and gag gift. I was almost in tears as i knew it would be my only Mom's day present I did not pay for) I thought he would go out after softball last nite, be gone today and probably tomorrow. I was wrong!!!! He came home and stayed home.
However, he is hiding away upstairs, no mention to the girls a trip to a store..
Now, for my girls b'day, they got checks. I finally took them to the bank to deposit. 1 daughter bought some of her cash, "so Daddy wouldn't take it".. Fine.. The other didn't, as she missed her sister's comment. When she got home, she went to her wallet, and $20 was missing. And note that a lot of their money is from the allowance and report card A's that *I* give them, plus money from a garage sale.
So, while I had a faint hope he would take them out, it is now gone, so I am back to my original plan. We will go to the mall in about 2 hours.. Then we will go out for a while. He will likely be gone when we get back..
:tongue-ti
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Join Date: Aug 2003
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Re: Annoyed and sad
Also, the neighbor he boozes with has been particularly annoying today.. Whistling, getting his yapping dog to yap even more, bbirds to chirp,running ATV around. Heard that he's moving soon(has only been talking about it for 4 years) Can't be too soon for me... When he's not boozing or recovering, he gets up early.. thinks EVERYONE should be up when he is, so has no problem, at 6 or 7 on a weekend morning , of getting the dog riled up, blasting his music and beeping his horn.. "It's his world, we just live in it".. I am so tired of unreliable drunks...
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Re: Annoyed and sad
I hate Hallmark Holidays! They set us up!
I hope your day went well and I hope your tomorrow does too! You have those wonderful children and it sounds like you are guiding them in the right direction.
Take care of YOU! If you don't who is going to step up?
(((HUGS)))
JT
I hope your day went well and I hope your tomorrow does too! You have those wonderful children and it sounds like you are guiding them in the right direction.
Take care of YOU! If you don't who is going to step up?
(((HUGS)))
JT
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Join Date: Jan 2003
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Re: Annoyed and sad
Ahhh Yes! Holidays, Birthdays, just even Surprise! I don't wait anylonger for the simple things in life that I enjoy. They needn't even be expensive. I used to long for a single rose or a daisy in a vase (especially in the winter months) Then as a lesson in taking care of myself and my needs I was asked to buy them myself. HA! I thought this is silly! But it was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Spend $1.50 on a rose for me when HE was supposed to do that without me even asking. Well, I finally started doing a single flower in a vase, Mostly to shut my sponsor up! Guess what suddenly he wanted to know who I was getting flowers from and why!
No, he still doesn't buy me flowers but He buys me rose bushes sometimes. If I want a single flower in the winter, I still buy it myself. For one thing a single bloom is cheaper than a whole bush and secondly I know when I need and want one. I guess the whole point is I have to know what I want, be willing to ask for so I have a 50/50 chance of getting it, and if no one else is willing to get it for me, Is it something I can get for myself and still be happy with it.
Sometimes, I even enjoy buying myself things just because I don't want expectations about whether someone else will get it for me and I am not always sure they do it for fun and for free.
Hope you enjoy being with your children. Since they are girls at least you can have something in common with them shopping together.
Sending love and prayers,
Daffodil
No, he still doesn't buy me flowers but He buys me rose bushes sometimes. If I want a single flower in the winter, I still buy it myself. For one thing a single bloom is cheaper than a whole bush and secondly I know when I need and want one. I guess the whole point is I have to know what I want, be willing to ask for so I have a 50/50 chance of getting it, and if no one else is willing to get it for me, Is it something I can get for myself and still be happy with it.
Sometimes, I even enjoy buying myself things just because I don't want expectations about whether someone else will get it for me and I am not always sure they do it for fun and for free.
Hope you enjoy being with your children. Since they are girls at least you can have something in common with them shopping together.
Sending love and prayers,
Daffodil
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Join Date: Aug 2003
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Posts: 428
Re: Annoyed and sad
Thanks, ladies.. Happy Mother's DAy!!!
We had a good one yest.Went to mall and they went shopping... Got what I asked for!!!! And Cards
Hub actually did stay home, and made breakfast!!!! However, I had bought Cinnabons yesterday, for today.. Will have them too!!! No idea what is in store for today..
After the mall, we went visiting.. A friend of mine's jerk husband had left her for someone else.. They had to sell the house, and now she daughter and granddaughter are in an apt. Saw it for the firs time yesterday.It's ok.. However, friend has kinda been seeing this guy.. He's nice, but SUCH A drunk!!!! Stumbling around one..
Anyway, we get to her apt, and she's not there.. his mom called her, upset, so codie friend goes and picks him up. He is soooo bombed!!!! I was very uncomfortable, as he's trying to talk to me, can't understand him, weaving around.. UGH. supposedly he;s going to rehab tomorrow.
We had a good one yest.Went to mall and they went shopping... Got what I asked for!!!! And Cards
Hub actually did stay home, and made breakfast!!!! However, I had bought Cinnabons yesterday, for today.. Will have them too!!! No idea what is in store for today..
After the mall, we went visiting.. A friend of mine's jerk husband had left her for someone else.. They had to sell the house, and now she daughter and granddaughter are in an apt. Saw it for the firs time yesterday.It's ok.. However, friend has kinda been seeing this guy.. He's nice, but SUCH A drunk!!!! Stumbling around one..
Anyway, we get to her apt, and she's not there.. his mom called her, upset, so codie friend goes and picks him up. He is soooo bombed!!!! I was very uncomfortable, as he's trying to talk to me, can't understand him, weaving around.. UGH. supposedly he;s going to rehab tomorrow.
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
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Re: Annoyed and sad
sdp
Hugs to you!! For all the crap you are going through, sure sounds like you have got it together. I hope you have a great day today!!
Many hugs,
Debbie
Hugs to you!! For all the crap you are going through, sure sounds like you have got it together. I hope you have a great day today!!
Many hugs,
Debbie
Hope you have a great day!
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