Repeat repeat... What next
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 3
Repeat repeat... What next
Hi everyone,
The past few times, When things get too unbearable, I leave for a few days until he gets sober on his own or goes to the hospital. (He has liver damage and then some). With each time this happens, I've been leaving sooner. I just can't take the language, controlling, and demanding of attention affection and nurse like care. i just pray he'll pass out ling enough for me to get sleep too. it never happens! i have tried explaining this to him when he's sober, but he doesn't think it could be that bad. guess I'm asking, what's my next step? Any insights?
The past few times, When things get too unbearable, I leave for a few days until he gets sober on his own or goes to the hospital. (He has liver damage and then some). With each time this happens, I've been leaving sooner. I just can't take the language, controlling, and demanding of attention affection and nurse like care. i just pray he'll pass out ling enough for me to get sleep too. it never happens! i have tried explaining this to him when he's sober, but he doesn't think it could be that bad. guess I'm asking, what's my next step? Any insights?
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family!
This is a wonderful site of information and support (weekends are sorta quiet).
I think your leaving each time the situation gets worse is a good, healthy plan. I'm not sure if talking with him will get you any improved results.
Trying to talk reason with an active alcoholic is like trying to buy fresh bread at the hardware store. While active in addiction, the alcoholic is unreasonable, irresponsible, and irrational.
Here is a link to one of my favorite posts on this site. I followed these steps while I was living with my husband's active alcoholism:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
That is just one of the posts that helped me. There are more posts at the top of this main page, and we call them the Sticky Posts. The Stickies contain some of our stories. I am always finding encouragement in the stickies by reading the experiences of others who have already walked this journey.
Stick around. We understand.
This is a wonderful site of information and support (weekends are sorta quiet).
I think your leaving each time the situation gets worse is a good, healthy plan. I'm not sure if talking with him will get you any improved results.
Trying to talk reason with an active alcoholic is like trying to buy fresh bread at the hardware store. While active in addiction, the alcoholic is unreasonable, irresponsible, and irrational.
Here is a link to one of my favorite posts on this site. I followed these steps while I was living with my husband's active alcoholism:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
That is just one of the posts that helped me. There are more posts at the top of this main page, and we call them the Sticky Posts. The Stickies contain some of our stories. I am always finding encouragement in the stickies by reading the experiences of others who have already walked this journey.
Stick around. We understand.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
"Repeat repeat... What next?
DON'T REPEAT.
I'm sorry but he is an adult, who refuses to help himself. His health is failing and yet he continues to drink. If he won't seek help to save his own life, exactly what do you think you can do for him? I would stop the "nurse care" game, you are currently playing/providing and allow him the dignity to figure it out. Your actions are enabling him to continue on his course.
This guy is abusing you, treats you like dirt, disrespects you and then demands attention, really? This is UNACCEPTABLE.
You deserve better, but only you can decide, when you have had enough of the lather, rinse, repeat, bullsh*t you will choose differently for YOU.
DON'T REPEAT.
I'm sorry but he is an adult, who refuses to help himself. His health is failing and yet he continues to drink. If he won't seek help to save his own life, exactly what do you think you can do for him? I would stop the "nurse care" game, you are currently playing/providing and allow him the dignity to figure it out. Your actions are enabling him to continue on his course.
This guy is abusing you, treats you like dirt, disrespects you and then demands attention, really? This is UNACCEPTABLE.
You deserve better, but only you can decide, when you have had enough of the lather, rinse, repeat, bullsh*t you will choose differently for YOU.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 63
I know what you're going through as I live it now. The only difference is I don't leave because honestly I have nowhere (healthy) to go. My AH is verbally abusive whenever he's drunk (which is really the only time I see him). If I had some place to go I would.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 3
So it looks li I'm on track atleast with the leaving part. I've been learning how to put ME first, like you've all said. My health and happiness are the most important, which is why I leave. I am thankful I have someplace safe to go.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
