petmagnet

I thought I'd introduce myself here at least. I am very glad to have found this support forum. I have been married to a highly functioning alcoholic for 10 years. Probably longer, but as they say this is a progressive disease and I have just watched it get worse and worse over the years. What started out as weekend binge drinking has progressed to a now bipolar 2 individual who mixes his depakote with binge alcohol consumption about every other night. He went through a well known month long rehab program but was drinking again within 4 days after leaving. He was forced to go and didn't go for himself. See how well that works? I struggle a lot with abandonment feelings as his prefered place to drink is alone at the bars until they close. I know my 2 teenage kids feel the same. We spend a lot of time alone in the evenings watching TV or whatever. He's destroying his health, and I fear he won't change until he's done permanent damage to his liver. He loves us, and would give me the world if he could, but he can't seem to give me the one thing we all need so bad, his sobriety. He isn't an abusive drunk, but I have learned just to leave him alone (most of the time) or the conversations turn to arguments that can spiral into pure craziness. You can't rationalize w a drunk after all. I know I am not in control, gave that up a long time ago. But, I am lonely a lot. I miss my partner so much. I've been thru a program with my kids on alcoholism and have been to alanon. I am a voracious reader too. I just want to say I am glad to meet you all and look forward to learning and supporting all of you in return if I can. I have many thoughts and questions!

Redheadsusie

Welcome to SR- Lots of great people here who understand what you are going through! Sending hugs- Your kids are lucky to have you! Hang in there!

dandylion

Dear petmagnet, It sounds like you may have reached a point where the consequences of the active drinking are becoming very difficult to bear.

Have you thought of returning to alanon for support?

sincerely, dandylion

redatlanta

Hi and welcome to SR. My husband is also BP2. Unfortunately alcohol does negate the medications your husband is taking as far as helping the bipolar. It is doubtful alcohol caused the BP rather the BP is more likely to have attributed to the alcoholism.

I don't have any words of wisdom in this situation. I can tell you that properly medicated my husband is a different human being.

Sorry and (((hugs))) I feel your pain.

Pelican

Welcome to the SR family!

Please make yourself at home. We are here to support you.

petmagnet

I have been to alanon, but need to go more regularly. For a long time I didn't feel "ready" to be there, but have in the past year come to A LOT of realizations. I intend to try more meetings, and have recently made a friend in a bible study I was in. She is in a very similar situation as myself. I think we will be good motivation for each other as far as getting to more alanon meetings. It's amazing that once you start putting yourself out there you realize how NOT alone you are in dealing with a loved one in this disease.

wicked

Yes, it is amazing. One of the miracles of recovery. Asking for help and getting it.
Keep it up, petmagnet.

Beth