krisjbhm

You may have read my post yesterday. The saga continues. The Hazelden therapists have been unable to communicate with the hospital. Apparently my husband doesn't exist. However, his NP called me with instructions of what to bring when I pick him up tomorrow! She castigated me for giving a non-working phone number as she had to find the Baker Act form to find my real number. HELLO? I gave her no number as I wasn't there and my husband filled out the admittance form. I informed her that I would not be picking him up as he is not welcome in my home. She informed me that the police would force me to allow him in as he lives there. The home is in my name! Then she said she needed to talk with his social worker. I asked for the SW's name and number but she would not give it. I called Hazelden and repeated the story. They assured me that they would do what was needed. Apparently 72 hours of detox have removed his will to "drink himself to death". A miracle!!!! Tomorrow should be interesting............

LexieCat

I would suggest you get in touch with an attorney.

If you have grounds for a restraining order, that would keep him out of the house--you mentioned that possibility in a previous post. I don't know what your situation is in terms of your eligibility for one, but if you have grounds you may want to apply for one.

The NP ought to be reported for her obnoxious behavior, BTW. That is a terrible way for her to speak to anyone.

krisjbhm

My attorney told me that the RO would be hard to get as he has not been violent -YET.
If he tries to break in then I can call the police and proceed. But as the NP said, the police will force me to let him in!!!!!!!!!

outonalimb

Kris...
I'm very sorry. How stressful! I'm sorry that the therapist spoke to you that way but good for you for standing up to her.

My exah was in and out of four different rehabs and four different psych wards. I always felt so frustrated...especially when he was in the psych wards...because they were always in such a rush to release him. So....he thought he was Jesus Christ last week but now he's good to go...even though you can't say what brought on the psychosis? And you want me to bring him home so he can live with and terrorize me and our son? For real? I'm just very jaded when it comes to the mental health field right now....it hasn't served my exah or our family very well at all.

I don't know what your history is but I highly recommend that you seek legal counsel as soon as you can. It can taks a while to get them out of the house once they've established residency but a lawyer can help you figure it all out.

Keep posting.
Keep the focus on YOU.

krisjbhm

I have an attorney. I will not let him in. If he wants to drink himself to death he can do it elsewhere. After saying to me last week that "I could kill you, you know" twice last week, I know that I am not safe, even if he hasn't actually assaulted me - and that is not enough cause for a RO.......

stella27

trust your instincts. Report the threats.
And stay strong.

LexieCat

Looking up the law on restraining orders in Fla, it looks as if a person can get one if she "has reasonable cause to believe he or she is in imminent danger of becoming the victim of any act of domestic violence," so you might also want to check with the DV hotline. Seems to me that someone saying "I could kill you, you know" would qualify.

I don't practice in Florida and I can't give you legal advice, but I think you might want to ask some more questions of someone who can.

dollydo

Here is my little story. I live in Florida, my ex abf lived with me for 6 months. I tossed him out (gave him all his stuff)and changed the locks. He kept trying to get back in the house,(that's another story, my BB gun one) I wouldn't let him in. One night, back he came, standing in the front yard, he was drunk & high, he was screaming and calling me all kinds of names..he wanted back in, there was no way in hell that I was letting him in. He called the sheriff.

They came, said since he lived in my house for more than 6 months, I had to let him in. I said "No" this is my house, I will not let him in". The deputy said, "I'll have to arrest you".
I put my wrists out and said "Fine, I'm ready, let me get my key (gotta lock the door) and oh by the way, don't forget to check ABF for drugs"....he just looked at me and mumbled, "Let me check with my partner."

So, back he comes, the other deputy had run a check on ABF, he had warrants outstanding from other counties... and they found pot on him. They handcuffed him, shoved him in one of the police cars and off to prison he went. Bye, See Yah, Tootles, Bon Voyage!

The deputy who was going to arrest me comes back in (again), he looked at me and said "You knew that we couldn't arrest you, this is a civil matter, the court would have to be petitioned". I said "I know". I smiled, he laughed...he left...I went to bed.

That is the condensed version of my story.

skella99

I have been dealing with my AD who tends to get ugly and violent when she is drunk. I have had to call the police on her before and they have told me that unless I get a restraining order I would have to formally evict her.

Im not at that point now. Also, she doesnt know this and because she too has warrants, all I usually have to do is tell her Im going to call the police, which is usually warranted b/c of her aggressive behavior and threats, and she'll leave.

krisjbhm

I am so ashamed of myself. I'm sitting here just waiting for the end of the 72 hours. No one has called and I'm too afraid to call for info. Making calls yesterday was so frustrating and little was learned. An excuse? Why have I become a weakling? Fear is winning and I'm playing the victim.

MsPINKAcres

Remember if you want something different you have to do something different ~

And you are worth doing something different for ~

Everyone deserves the simple pleasure of relaxing in their own home without living in fear ~

It's ok to do what is healthy for you ~ by doing this you are allowing him the ability to make the choice to do something different for himself too ~ he may not, but he will be given the opportunity to choose ~

Breathe In, Breathe Out ~ See what is the Next Right thing . . .

sending you pink hugs & prayers for strength courage and wisdom ~

dollydo

You can either be proactive or inactive. As FDR said "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." Makes sense to me.