confusedgirl1

Well back to work...12 hour days for me, but weekends off. Thankful as he has quit yet another job so somebody has to ensure things are taken care of. He leaves next week however, to go up north....20 days in and then 10 out...lucky me. Hoping it gives me time and strength to do what I need to do to prepare an escape. I cannot do this anymore. He has been attending AA and seeing his sponsor almost daily. Thought things were good. Suspected something last week as I thought I smelled booze on his breath. Confirmed it yesterday...bank statement that he left out....has been buying booze every second day since the beginning of January. Lied to me, himself and his AA people. I feel so betrayed...but mainly stupid that I once again believed him. Have to break this chain and get out of this situation....have not said a word yet as it will end in a fight and I am not into it anymore...not worth it....and he leaves on Tuesday. I know this makes me an enabler once again but for my own sanity I have to just let it go and make it throught until Tuesday. He is sick and is not willing to change. Praying for strength to do what I know I must do...

redatlanta

It does not make you an enabler. You have reached a point that your own sanity, health, and happiness means more to you than trying to help him.

There is no point in saying a thing to him. Take care of yourself. You aren't stupid - stupid would be accepting and rationalizing the lie.

(((hugs))) to you - have been where you are with the lies.

CentralOhioDad

I'm sorry it has come to this for you. Be strong, and remember that SR is always here.

C-OH Dad

Redheadsusie

Sending you hugs and strength to do what is best for you...........

BunnyNest

I'm so sorry this has happened. Hugs to you.

When I was done, I was done. No more fighting, discussions, or even letting him know. I just "left." I was just done. I finally started taking care of me.

I am glad that you are now going to start taking care of you!

MyBetterWorld

Same for me...one day I was just DONE. No more back and forth. I looked in the paper (small town), viewed an apartment that evening and moved into with my children 2 weeks later. DONE. When you know you know. It sounds like you know.
Best of luck...we're always here for support!
M

Punkin50

BunnyNest I was the same way. I knew I had to put myself first or loose my mind. I gave him every chance in the world but it didn't matter to him and it didn't matter to him that my health was going down so quickley, so I left and now I am making a new life for myself!!!

LadySage

I'm sad for your situation but take a little strange comfort knowing i'm not alone in dealing with the same sort of situation! And really, it seems like all of these stories have some very common threads.

Stay strong and be kind to yourself!

ReflectingOnMe

Sending prayers and thoughts your way.

LexieCat

You are doing the right thing for yourself, and you are not being an enabler, at least so far as the things you are talking about. An enabler helps the alcoholic avoid the natural consequences of his or her actions. You aren't doing that. You are making a healthy choice for yourself in a way that does not put you at risk. That's not enabling, that's caring for yourself, something we are all trying to do.

Hugs, hope everything goes smoothly,