alole

I think someone I know has a drinking problem. I told them what I thought and they totally flipped out. Said I didn't have any life experience and to "go f-ck myself", they also blocked me I think. I didn't say this to hurt the person but I think they have a problem. I only know a few things they told me but

1. they said they used to get dui's a lot when younger, but they had a DUI a year ago and had to go to jail for a few days and do community service(which they just finished).

2. they play golf and sometimes they drink(which I know is what happens on a golf course) but they drink heavily at the golf course even on a weekday and have confided that they have(I know at least twice but maybe three times) drunk to much while playing golf to the point of being sick(recently they told me they got sick in a parking lot and they were driving which worries me).

3. Their house looks like a frat house they have wine bottles and beer bottles everywhere. It looks awful, it is a period over two weeks or a week but even then it is a little much isn't it?

4. They also told me half the time I text them they are drunk and don't remember what I say(I know they said this to hurt me but I partly believe it, it would make sense)

5. I have seen them drink I believe they drink 4-5 beers a day and a bottle of wine a night if not drinking beer. They also don't eat till the last minute but have probably been drinking for the past 5-6 hours before they eat(they eat at 10pm-12am)

6. They sometimes smoke weed while drinking too.

FenwayFaithful

It sounds like whoever you're talking about might have a bit of an alcohol problem. Denial is a a VERY common tool amongst us alcoholics. Sadly, this person won't get sober until they realize they have a problem and actually WANT to stop drinking. You might recognize it as a problem but until THEY do, absolutely nothing can be done. It's sad but it's true.
Chances are if you approach them with your concern even in the nicest manner possible they will get super defensive. Sadly an alcoholic can't be helped until he or she is willing to commit to trying to get sober.
Is this person someone close to you?

alole

Yes I was dating this person. I really do care for them, I don't think they have a huge drinking problem but I think they have one that does affect them wanting to let people in their lives, and completing goals.(they want to become a pro-golfer and they are good and have discipline but the drinking thing worries me it makes me wonder if that is why they weren't successful in becoming one earlier in life)

mmk11

I asked my counselor about how to recognize if a person is an alcoholic; I was/am concerned because I've dated several addicts and/or alcoholocs, and married an alcoholic. My counselor said to pay special attention to the importance of alcohol in that person's life. Alcoholics will always want to be around alcohol, and place alcohol use ahead of everything else.

My STBXAH always wanted to be out with friends, golfing, movies, and other activities that involved drinking or gettin high. My complaints about him being gone too much and feeling lonely had no affect on him. He was not a supportive husband.

SparkleKitty

Alole, it sounds like alcohol is a huge part of this person's life, but even if it wasn't it sounds like he is simply not very nice to you! I would not waste your time trying to figure out if alcohol is keeping him from opening up to you: you said your peace, he heard you and his response was eff off. Go on out there and find someone who is ready to put you first. You deserve it.

Hollyanne

As SparkleKitty says.
Move along.
You will just find a whole lot of hurt and pain there.
Good on you for saying something though.
So many people don't.
You might have planted a seed.
Even if he went today and decided to quit, he would not be relationship material for a while.
Learn from this experience.
Be careful who you date.
You deserve a nice guy, don't you?

velma929

Year ago I heard someone or other opine, "If drinking is causing problems in your life, you are a problem drinker."

A bottle of wine equals four or five drinks. 5 or 6 beers is a lot. Refusing to eat until you're adequately buzzed,
OUIs, vomiting in the parking lot, consort leaving you because it looks like an issue, those look like problems to me.

Your consort (or former consort) clearly has a different outlook.

alole

Hollyanne.

You are right I do deserve better, but I would like to help this person.

redatlanta

Unless this person wants help for themselves there is nothing you can do to help them. Sorry to be so straightforward - it and addiction are the only diseases i know of that DON'T want help or treatment when they are active. They do like codependents and enablers - so if you want to help this person don't be one.

Try Al Anon - it will help you understand.