Reactive personality training?
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
Reactive personality training?
I was thinking about how some of the threads on this forum triggers people, including me. There is one thread in particular that raised some of our blood pressures.
It also triggered my "reactive" personality. Threads can do that I now realize--it's by their nature also. It's hard to be proactive when the nature of a thread is to be reactive to what somebody else posts.
I was also thinking about my frozen difficulty to drag myself out of innactivity, something that is bothering me and I remarked on it on my thread.
It's like I've been trained to be a reactive personality...true of all "codies"?
All the stuff that was thrown to me out of nowhere--and for some of us, even emergency crises that required a reactive moment, or several.
It's like if I don't have an emergency emotional crisis, it's as if I don't have to do anything but wait until the next one...just rest up and gather strength for it. That's what life was like with the A.
Now I see it clearly in a lot of responses to threads here. Others who also are "reactive". I see some threads being triggers, as we all "jump" and react with what we would do, or how we were in a similar situation, or where we think somebody else needs to behave differently.
Thoughts? How do we read and post without being triggered and jump into our reactive personality?
It also triggered my "reactive" personality. Threads can do that I now realize--it's by their nature also. It's hard to be proactive when the nature of a thread is to be reactive to what somebody else posts.
I was also thinking about my frozen difficulty to drag myself out of innactivity, something that is bothering me and I remarked on it on my thread.
It's like I've been trained to be a reactive personality...true of all "codies"?
All the stuff that was thrown to me out of nowhere--and for some of us, even emergency crises that required a reactive moment, or several.
It's like if I don't have an emergency emotional crisis, it's as if I don't have to do anything but wait until the next one...just rest up and gather strength for it. That's what life was like with the A.
Now I see it clearly in a lot of responses to threads here. Others who also are "reactive". I see some threads being triggers, as we all "jump" and react with what we would do, or how we were in a similar situation, or where we think somebody else needs to behave differently.
Thoughts? How do we read and post without being triggered and jump into our reactive personality?
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
I'm not a mindreader so I don't think I can tell whether or not someone else has been triggered on SR. Are you making assumptions about what other people post, perhaps? All I can do is keep an open mind and look at myself and my behavior as objectively as possible, with the goal to better myself and my life.
I have historically been a reactive person. I do not feel it is part of my personality. I feel it is part of the effects of growing up in an alcoholic home. I know that you can retrain yourself to stop being reactive because I've done it. I remember practicing NOT reacting very early in my recovery in Al-Anon. I am less reactive now than before I found Al-Anon. I am often able to stand by and just observe someone living a chaotic, unmanageable life. I can inhibit my own wants regarding another person, which gives me emotional distance. When I am less invested in the outcomes of what another person does, or the way they choose to live their life, I am much less reactive. Maybe one would call that "Apathy." Whatever it is called, I like it much better than what I was before.
I have historically been a reactive person. I do not feel it is part of my personality. I feel it is part of the effects of growing up in an alcoholic home. I know that you can retrain yourself to stop being reactive because I've done it. I remember practicing NOT reacting very early in my recovery in Al-Anon. I am less reactive now than before I found Al-Anon. I am often able to stand by and just observe someone living a chaotic, unmanageable life. I can inhibit my own wants regarding another person, which gives me emotional distance. When I am less invested in the outcomes of what another person does, or the way they choose to live their life, I am much less reactive. Maybe one would call that "Apathy." Whatever it is called, I like it much better than what I was before.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
Originally Posted by Learn2Live 
Are you making assumptions about what other people post, perhaps?
I know that you can retrain yourself to stop being reactive because I've done it. IMaybe one would call that "Apathy." Whatever it is called, I like it much better than what I was before.
I know that you can retrain yourself to stop being reactive because I've done it. IMaybe one would call that "Apathy." Whatever it is called, I like it much better than what I was before.
Assumptions...am I? perhaps, but I can hear the tenseness, anger, and other varied emotions in some posts, and I do relate to it as I have done it also. Yes, even a post can trigger me to feel an emotion that is reactive.
I haven't trained myself to not be reactive, but I'm working on it. I was thinking though along the lines of that some of us, or at least me, feel as if it is like PTSD...the brain trained to be reactive. I feel like I've lived in a foxhole and rest up until the next bomb drops.
My purpose in this thread is to discuss being reactive, or jumping to react, and recognizing that that is in me, and others, and to explore it further, as understanding the psychology behind it I think might be half the battle of overcoming it.
And I am thinking that this is part of being a "codie". I see this similarity in a lot of posts. It's interesting to me to delve further into this idea.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Learning to Respond instead of React was my biggest struggle.
I did live in anticipation of the next crisis while living with active alcoholism, and I anticipated how I would need to React to that crisis. I was always future tripping to figure out how the next drink would play out. I lived everyday in reaction mode.
Today, I struggle with staying in the present moment as a result of having lived in Reaction Mode. I am making progress, not perfection.
There are some good articles here on SR that discuss how our brains become addicted to the drama of living with addiction. In reading, I understand that I need to retrain my brain. I need to practice Responding instead of Reacting.
Good on you for being aware of what may be an unhealthy pattern in your life! Your recovery is showing and it looks good on you!
I did live in anticipation of the next crisis while living with active alcoholism, and I anticipated how I would need to React to that crisis. I was always future tripping to figure out how the next drink would play out. I lived everyday in reaction mode.
Today, I struggle with staying in the present moment as a result of having lived in Reaction Mode. I am making progress, not perfection.
There are some good articles here on SR that discuss how our brains become addicted to the drama of living with addiction. In reading, I understand that I need to retrain my brain. I need to practice Responding instead of Reacting.
Good on you for being aware of what may be an unhealthy pattern in your life! Your recovery is showing and it looks good on you!
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