Feeling a bit more sane today

Old 07-10-2012, 12:20 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Feeling a bit more sane today

After having a few really sad, sentimental days over XABF, today I'm feeling more clear (I know it's going to be quite the emotional whirlwind for a while).

I had a wonderful talk over lunch with a dear friend I really respect. She shared stories of her family's alcoholism, and it made me feel all the more convinced I've made the right decision and that I'm handling things just fine.

It still never ceases to amaze me how prevelant alcoholism is/how similar all the patterns are. And just how devestating the effects can be for so many. I never grew up with this or had it as part of my experience except the last two years. It has been quite a crash course education!

Anyways, thanks for all the support. I could be on the floor sobbing later, but this afternoon I am peaceful and OK!
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Old 07-10-2012, 01:20 PM
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I'm glad to hear you are doing better Jessie. I'm a little jealous and wish I was in your place today.

Yes, once I started learning about alcoholism and addiction, when I looked back at all my old "friends," and where we grew up, I could not believe what I had not seen all those years! Drunk people getting more drunk, hanging out to drink, not caring what happens to anyone, not caring how they act, nor how they hurt other people. And most of them are STILL doing all that all these decades later (I know because I would see them on Facebook).

And that's another lesson I have learned, that Facebook is really bad news for me. Because most of the people I am "friends" with are people from where I grew up, and old "friends" from my party days. It's no wonder the last two people I have gotten involved with, who I reconnected with on Facebook, have been drunk drug addicts. What was I thinking??? I'm not on Facebook now, because I don't want to see pictures of A&AXBF and what he is doing and with whom. If I ever do get back on Facebook, I am deleting all those people from my drunken past.

Next time you drive somewhere, count the number of liquor stores and bars you pass on the way and you will be astonished by the number.

It wasn't until I got on SR that I realized the similiarities in behavior amongst alcoholics and addicts. People here often say, "Are you sure your AXBF isn't my husband?!?!" or some such thing because they actually even SAY the SAME THINGS!! If ever there is question whether or not this is a disease, the fact that they say and do the same sick behavior speaks pretty loudly.
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Old 07-10-2012, 06:33 PM
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Thanks L2L! Hope you are hanging in OK today -- some are just harder than others, for sure. Today I haven't. Reid and have held it together very well, tomorrow could be totally different. (I know I WILL cry big time tomorrow -- therapist appointment. I've never left there with a dry eye!)

As for Facebook, that can be so hard. I blocked XABF the second I left because I was worried he might post something awful, and I asked my friends to block him (maturely, not in a high school way) because I did t want him able to see what I'm doing via my friends. I'm still friends some of his family members -- his mom regularly thumbs-ups my statuses, even though she knows everything. Eventually this could get really weird!

I love to go have a drink with friends and have a good time. But I am by no means a partier, and never have been. Yesterday I saw an interview with Lisa Kudrow, where she said when she was young she always acted like she was 35. That's me -- I've never liked the feeling out of control, etc.
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