Sanity2012

11 years ago when I first met AH he was my kindred spirit. We could complete each other sentences. Had been the same places (literally) and I yet I knew there was a reason we had not met until we did. In my mind and heart, I was not at a place where I could appreciate another person as I did until I met him.

If you were to meet me, you would think I am an outgoing, vocal person. I like to laugh and hope I have a good sense of humor (ok, a bit warped but any humor is better than none).

My career enables me to be another person than I really feel that I am. If it is a work situation, (without co-workers and just clients) I can laugh and talk and it seems like all is well.

But in reality I am pretty shy. When I tell those that know me, they laugh. WFT you? Yeah...me. I have spent my childhood moving around and my senior year in high school with people I didn't know. My freshman year in college I loved. Small college....and then my parent moved and I had to as well. Again. And Again...and again.

When I started typing this thread, my point was not going to be what I just wrote. It was going to be, my dad is in the hospital and I am scared. I wish I could call AH to have him tell me it is going to be ok.

And I feel like I did something wrong to have all this come down at the same time. And even more, I feel so selfish to worry about my own feelings right now. I am scared when the phone rings, or doesn't ring. Or even is silent. No news is no news.

When God closes a door, he opens another.

Do I get a GPS to figure out where that is??

DesertEyes

Hello there Sanity

Yes, I know how that works. 30 years ago that's the way it was with my ex#1. Perfect soulmates just like it says in the fairy tales. All of her friends were my friends and everybody kept asking how come we hadn't met. Well we met and it was outta this world. Then her addiction to pills took all that away.

About 6 years ago it happened again, another fantastic lady that was just as much a perfect fit as the first one. All of her friends were my friends and everybody kept asking how come we hadn't met. Yup, same story all over again. Had a fantastic time for years. Then her addiction to anorexia took all that away.

Funny how that happens, huh? Happens to me all the time

Wow. That must be awful. My Mom is 99 and everytime she's in the hospital I go half nuts. From reading your posts I see you have a huge amount of stress going in your life. I can't even imagine how you must feel. I know it's not the same, but you've got a few hundred people right here on this forum that are pulling for you.

I know. I feel that way too when everything happens at once. What helps me is to browse thru all the threads here on SR. Everybody else is going thru their own emotional trainwrecks, and none of _them_ did anything wrong. That helps me see that _I_ did not do anything wrong either.

You're allowed to feel selfish. And you're allowed to worry about your own feelings at the same time. When my world falls apart I feel a million feelings all at the same time. I just don't bother trying to figure it all out. I just allow myself to be a mess for awhile.

Oh wow, I love that line I never have found any kind of GPS during those times between doors. I just listen to all the wise people around here and use that as my GPS. They all get thru their hardships and make it out the other side just fine. So if they can so can I.

Just stick around here awhile, Sanity. You've still got that sense of humor working, so you're going to be alright.

Mike

Sanity2012

Thanks for the great note Mike!

I have been taking great comfort in reading everyone's posts and stickies (once I figured out where the post it note was. One step forward at times, two step backs and if you were in Texas you could call it a dance. I do....its the alcoholic two step backwards one. (Throw a little cotton eyed Joe in, and yell bullsh-t).

I am directionally challenged and don't even think a GPS could help me right now. But if I keep the important landmarks on my horizon maybe I can get to my destination?

I guess the most important thing to remember right now, is breathe. Once you get that down hopefully the rest is like riding a bike!

Seren

I'm sorry you are having a hard time Sanity.

I really believe that when we are 'all out of positive', that's when we need to ask for others to share their light!

Hoping the sun will shine for you again, soon!



Sometimes smiley therapy helps!