Let's talk about abundance...
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I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little afraid. It's a "feel the fear and do it anyway" thing, lol. I just told my SO and he responded with this:
"If you're not scared and thrilled at the same time about the future then you're probably not on the right path."
That's what I love about him.
L
"If you're not scared and thrilled at the same time about the future then you're probably not on the right path."
That's what I love about him.
L
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Discovered a new waterfall the other day. I am so looking forward to doing this full time.
My son saw this image and said "you are so much better at this than when you started." Gosh, I love that boy!
My son saw this image and said "you are so much better at this than when you started." Gosh, I love that boy!
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Thank you. For the thread and the photos.
Trusting the universe and its abundance.
For me, it was food.
Probably because I was always scared of not being able to feed the kids because AXH had drunk all the money.
So when I moved out, I had anxiety attacks if my pantry and fridge weren't packed full. Until at some point, I realized that there is more food at the store. I'm not in former Soviet Russia. The shelves do get restocked there. And the closest store is only a ten-minute walk away.
It's a very tangible expression of a very intangible change in mindset for me, to be OK with only having food for the next day in the fridge. And buying toilet paper in a four-pack instead of a 24-pack.
Giggle all you like. I'm laughing at myself. But it's a huge freedom, to not live in fear. Of running out of food OR TP.
Trusting the universe and its abundance.
For me, it was food.
Probably because I was always scared of not being able to feed the kids because AXH had drunk all the money.
So when I moved out, I had anxiety attacks if my pantry and fridge weren't packed full. Until at some point, I realized that there is more food at the store. I'm not in former Soviet Russia. The shelves do get restocked there. And the closest store is only a ten-minute walk away.
It's a very tangible expression of a very intangible change in mindset for me, to be OK with only having food for the next day in the fridge. And buying toilet paper in a four-pack instead of a 24-pack.
Giggle all you like. I'm laughing at myself. But it's a huge freedom, to not live in fear. Of running out of food OR TP.
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Location: Florida
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~~bump~~
This is such a WISE thread I had to bump it up for those that weren't around when it was originally posted.
For me this relates to "when I change the way I look at things, the things I look at change"...... focusing on abundance instead of scarcity is a hard habit to build initially, but like any other habit it gets so much easier with lots of practice & now it's part of my "Normal" instead.
This is such a WISE thread I had to bump it up for those that weren't around when it was originally posted.
For me this relates to "when I change the way I look at things, the things I look at change"...... focusing on abundance instead of scarcity is a hard habit to build initially, but like any other habit it gets so much easier with lots of practice & now it's part of my "Normal" instead.
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I kept wanting to reply to this bump but kept not getting around to it. Today is "Nike day"--I'm just doing it!
Abundance is hard for me too. I grew up in "not enough" of almost everything, and so of course that was MY normal. You name it, I felt there was a shortage of it, be it a physical or emotional item, and I spent tremendous amounts of energy and time making sure I wouldn't be caught short. Well, I thought I was making sure I wouldn't be caught short, but really, all I was doing was using tremendous amounts of time and energy on a fruitless and impossible task.
Gradually I'm learning to trust that there will be enough, and even if I don't see that right now, there will be enough when I need it.
I am someone who likes to be prepared, who will always have basics in the fridge and pantry and something put by in the freezer. I will always have an emergency fund account at the bank. Growing up as I did, I have a need for a certain level of security. I'm never going to be a "wing it" kind of person, and I don't see harm in that.
Where the harm comes is when I have so much physical "stuff" that I can't manage it; it is managing me. The harm comes when I am so attached to people/situations that I can't see beyond them to what may be next. This is not security but obsession.
Endings have always been really tough for me. It's very, very hard for me to let go of anything I have used or owned or anyone I have loved or known for any length of time. And I think a lot of this hinges on the abundance/scarcity thing. I fear that either A) I will never be able to find another X, Y or Z, whether that is a thing, person or situation, or B) that even if I do find another X, Y or Z, it won't be as good as the original one.
Scarcity says "no, there will never be more, or it will never be as good." Abundance says "there IS more, and while it won't be the same, it certainly may be as good, and maybe better!"
This is an important topic, and thanks for bumping it up, FireSprite.
Abundance is hard for me too. I grew up in "not enough" of almost everything, and so of course that was MY normal. You name it, I felt there was a shortage of it, be it a physical or emotional item, and I spent tremendous amounts of energy and time making sure I wouldn't be caught short. Well, I thought I was making sure I wouldn't be caught short, but really, all I was doing was using tremendous amounts of time and energy on a fruitless and impossible task.
Gradually I'm learning to trust that there will be enough, and even if I don't see that right now, there will be enough when I need it.
I am someone who likes to be prepared, who will always have basics in the fridge and pantry and something put by in the freezer. I will always have an emergency fund account at the bank. Growing up as I did, I have a need for a certain level of security. I'm never going to be a "wing it" kind of person, and I don't see harm in that.
Where the harm comes is when I have so much physical "stuff" that I can't manage it; it is managing me. The harm comes when I am so attached to people/situations that I can't see beyond them to what may be next. This is not security but obsession.
Endings have always been really tough for me. It's very, very hard for me to let go of anything I have used or owned or anyone I have loved or known for any length of time. And I think a lot of this hinges on the abundance/scarcity thing. I fear that either A) I will never be able to find another X, Y or Z, whether that is a thing, person or situation, or B) that even if I do find another X, Y or Z, it won't be as good as the original one.
Scarcity says "no, there will never be more, or it will never be as good." Abundance says "there IS more, and while it won't be the same, it certainly may be as good, and maybe better!"
This is an important topic, and thanks for bumping it up, FireSprite.
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For me its lots of knickers (undies) in the drawer. When I was struggling I never had enough and those I did had holes in them. Also socks!
My DIL has a freezer full of meat and hates eating any of it.
My DIL has a freezer full of meat and hates eating any of it.
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Originally Posted by feelingalone43 
I could easily and happily downsize and live a much simpler life. But I won't do that to my 3 teen-aged boys. So for now, I am just concentrating on being a happy, healthy person while detaching from my AH's issues. I am finding my own healing, let him do the same.
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What a great thread. I'm so glad you bumped it up Firesprite. I want to apply to drama school. I'm 35. I feel like everyone will be against it but even the thought of it makes my heart sing. I fear what my future will look like if I don't have a pension plan etc. But I have to keep in mind that I've always been able to earn money, I've always had a roof over my head and food in the fridge. Despite all of my fears, I have abundance in my life and I've yet to end up destitute on the streets!
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 430
Thank you so much for bumping this powerful thread, FireSprite.
Is LTD the woman who is now traveling around in her motorhome, making a living taking photos at National Parks? I remember being inspired by her story when I first joined SR.
Abundance: yes. It's so important to recognize how much we have when we let go of the relationships and/or stuff that seems important but actually weighs us down.
I gave up owning a big fancy house to rent a small condo that just barely fits my 3 children and I, but we have the whole ocean out of our windows, as far as the eye can see. Inside, the small space means that we're together--talking, playing games, doing homework, being a family. We're sharing--what an interesting word. We're sharing a small space, which means we're sharing our lives, too. The big old house allowed everyone to retreat into his/her individual, isolated, place.
Ladybird your comment about what your son said he wanted filled my eyes with tears. That's what I wanted, and created, too. I am so grateful to the people, including folks on SR, who helped me understand alcoholism and make choices to create the life I wanted and needed, for myself and my children.
And as far as the dating game, at no time in history was it so easy to find such an abundance of available single people putting themselves out there, regardless of age or any other characteristic. Yesterday I went for an awesome mountain bike ride with someone I met online, and he and I were talking about what a great time this is to be single because you have such easy access to finding other available single people. All kinds of people, many of whom you may not want to get involved with, but still, you get to meet and hear their stories and learn something way outside of your own 'box.' Abundance.
Is LTD the woman who is now traveling around in her motorhome, making a living taking photos at National Parks? I remember being inspired by her story when I first joined SR.
Abundance: yes. It's so important to recognize how much we have when we let go of the relationships and/or stuff that seems important but actually weighs us down.
I gave up owning a big fancy house to rent a small condo that just barely fits my 3 children and I, but we have the whole ocean out of our windows, as far as the eye can see. Inside, the small space means that we're together--talking, playing games, doing homework, being a family. We're sharing--what an interesting word. We're sharing a small space, which means we're sharing our lives, too. The big old house allowed everyone to retreat into his/her individual, isolated, place.
Ladybird your comment about what your son said he wanted filled my eyes with tears. That's what I wanted, and created, too. I am so grateful to the people, including folks on SR, who helped me understand alcoholism and make choices to create the life I wanted and needed, for myself and my children.
And as far as the dating game, at no time in history was it so easy to find such an abundance of available single people putting themselves out there, regardless of age or any other characteristic. Yesterday I went for an awesome mountain bike ride with someone I met online, and he and I were talking about what a great time this is to be single because you have such easy access to finding other available single people. All kinds of people, many of whom you may not want to get involved with, but still, you get to meet and hear their stories and learn something way outside of your own 'box.' Abundance.
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