DefofLov

Hi Everyone,

I could sure use some more

Tomorrow I have committed myself to going to Al-Anon. There is a meeting at noon and I'm so nervous and scared. Honestly, I'm scared of being disappointed. What if no one comes? What if I don't fit in? What if some attention ***** takes up the entire meeting? Will I really get my needs met? Will there actually be support for me? Do I deserve support? People to help me get through this? Real, live people who understand me? They exist?

Some background for those who don't know me: I am 27 and I come from a family full of addiction and alcoholism. Recently there was a drunk intervention. Meaning the alcoholics sat the family drug addict down (some were arrived drunk) and told her to go to rehab. And when she agreed, they all celebrated by drinking more. I mean... DUDE! That's messed up. I don't even know where to start with that one.

I need support. I need to go to Al-Anon.

And I need

Love,

Lily

choublak

Someone always chairs the meetings and wouldn't allow that.

Impurrfect

((Def))) - think of al-anon meetings as similar to here..just f2f It's also recommended to try out different meetings...some just feel more "right" than others. However, a lot of people still go to the first meeting they tried.

You'll be fine, but sending you lots of hugs, prayers, and encouragement anyway,

Amy

mattmathews

In my younger stupider days, I was visiting some guys at the house they were renting and they said "Hey, lets go jump off the roof into the pool!" It seemed like a good idea at the time, but when I got up on top of the roof it was terrifying. The pool looked a lot smaller and shallower, and the concrete deck looked a lot wider. I couldn't do it. I couldn't make myself jump.
Then a friend of mine said "C'mon Matt, I'll go first." And after watching my buddy do it...I decided I could do it too! And I did.
I guess I'm saying that every one of us had to walk through those doors the first time, and we were all scared. And so far as I know; all of us lived to tell the tale. (That's a joke).
Things that we think are going to be terrifying, are almost never as bad as we imagine they will be.
Good for you for looking for help at this point in your life, many of us don't figure out that our lives are messed up until we've suffered for a good long while.
:ghug3

Hopeworks

Hey Lily,

Don't awfulize it in advance...don't we get enough awful without wasting our energy worrying over "maybe awful"... ????

How about you show up and someone else shows up in worse shape than you are and you bless them!

You are pretty smart gal... hey you showed up sober and knew it wasn't normal! Thats awesome... I am in the third act and am just getting there girlfriend!

Seriously... you are GOING! That gets you a huge hug from me! Changed my life even if they didn't know all the answers or were meeting hogs or whatever.

Just going helps... and keep going. And keep believing because hope does work! I used to hope for my alcoholic loved one but now I just hope for me and ... For you... and for all the rest of us here who WANT help!

It only gets better and you already have come a long way baby... so just go. be cool. be calm. expect the best. Look for you HP to show up and eat the hay and spit out the straw and keep going.

Its all good because you are working on you and that never fails... it ain't Burger King fast but it happens ... we heal... even the ones like me shattered with a horrible alcohol soaked abusive childhood!

Hugs and prayers!

DesertEyes

Hello there Lily, and good for you

I was plenty scared my first meeting, for all the reasons you mentioned. Scared enough that I stayed in the parking lot and never went in. I didn't actually go in until my fourth try. Whadya know, most everybody in the meet had also sat around in the parking lot their first few tries.

So have some ((((( hugs ))))) and know that you are not alone. Like others have said, you are doing exactly the right things for exactly the right reasons. And if you don't like the meeting, for whatever reason, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you made the decision and took the action.

There's other meetings, other organizations, other resources. You, however, are unique and special. And you've got 90 some thousand peeps here on SR cheering you on

Mike

CeciliaV

Hi Lily - I honestly can't believe that happened at an intervention, that's seriously messed up! I'm so sorry for the struggles you're going through. Hopefully you can find some support at al-anon.

DefofLov

Thank you so much for the support. I had another tear storm today. I called on my family and friends. Every one has been so kind to me.

I went to the beach with a friend and had a great time today. It was nice to get away from the apartment and hang out with a loved one.

I will keep definitely update about the F2F.

Love,

Lily

DefofLov

Thank you Anvilhead,

So glad I won't be for lunch at the meeting tomorrow! Thank you. You put it in an awesome way for me to understand.

Love,

Lily

Seren

Whew! Breathe.......OK, people will come. If you don't like this meeting, there are others. No one will take up the entire meeting. Depends on what your needs are. There will be support for you, and you do deserve it. Many of the people in the Friends and Family forums here attend f-2-f Al-Anon and Nar-Anon meetings.....we/they do exist.

Oh, and what Mike and Anvil said....that too.

DefofLov

The meeting was awesome! There was a lot of people there and they were warm and receptive to me. I am so glad I went.

Impurrfect

((Def))) - Fantastic!!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

m1k3

sugarbear1

Call the Al Anon office and ask about meetings and if it's still happening. Talk with them about what to expect. That office is there to guide you to a meeting.

Stop the pain and get to the meeting so you are with others who understand.


Ooops! See what happens when one doesn't read the entire thread first? I am happy you went!!
Love & hugs,

DefofLov

Thanks Sugarbear!

I am so glad I am in a place in my life where I can really listen and embrace what Al-Anon has to offer. There is a meeting on Friday and I'm definitely going.

Love,

Lily

DesertEyes

woooo hoooo Def you rock !!!! Way kewl.

... and you walked in to your first meet. Me? I chickened out 3 times !!! You're doing better than I did

Mike