Zee

Well, Im 7 months sober (222 days in fact) I feel I have been doing well considering.

This is about my husband.... he believes he is a social drinker (my eye!) I would say he is alcohol dependant and a binge drinker. He is Russian and he drinks vodka... lots of it when binging. He breaks with peer pressure (he has a Lithuanian aquaintance who is a steaming alki) He is usually drinking 3 days solid.. topping up etc. Well this afternoon-evening, they started drinking, they took the dog out for two hours, then brought her back thank god. Then they went out again... by this time he was pretty badly drunk. Then 30 mins ago, he came back again, not walking in a straight line, bouncing off walls etc.... I said 'where are you going'? He said... 'the pub'. I said, 'oh come on, look at the state of you'! He ignored this and he has gone again.

He has in the past been violent to me (not beating, but pushing me and throwing things at me) he has also trashed the house (which I covered up to my family when they were concerned)

I have a long wait now to guage the situation to when he comes home... I really hope he just passes out in bed (Im staying downstairs) I have phoned the non emergency police line to see if I can call 999 if he comes home and kicks off, they said of course I can.... (phone is in my pocket)

So, here I sit... waiting

Just thought I'd share... I am moderately nervous right now...

Hollyanne

Hi Zee,
We will wait with you. Sounds as though he may be too plastered to be much trouble.
Just read a little here and go away to sleep for yourself.
You know though that you have to think about this in the long term.
Now that you are sober (super), you probably should have a little bit of peace in your life.
That is for another day.
Obviously call the cops if you need to tonight. But the lack of surprise in your "voice" is a bit disturbing. You realize this is nuts right?
Big hugs
Anne

Pelican

Welcome to the SR family!

Please make yourself at home on this side of recovery as you try to deal with an active alcoholic partner.

I am a recovering alcoholic, and I was not able to stay in my relationship with my active alcoholic. I started working my recovery and started attending Al-anon meetings. I realized that I was accepting unacceptable behavior from my life partner and modeling an unhealthy relationship for my children.

I also learned about the three C's of my husband's addiction to alcohol:

I did not Cause it
I could not Control it
I would not Cure it

As much as I wanted him to join me in sobriety and recovery, I was powerless to change his behavior.

I read an important sticky post for family members that are living with addiction. I followed these steps and it helped me get my serenity back. Here is a link to the post that helped me:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

wicked

Everything still okay Zee?
I hope you are sleeping peacefully.
It's what? 2 am there?

Congratulations on your sober time!
Yay! Good for you.

Once I got sober, after a while, I realized that I could no longer share my life (and the kids) with my actively using husband. There was no peace. No serenity.
Just bad stuff, and now I was sober and had to deal with it!
No thanks.

Praying for a quiet night for you,

Beth

Zee

Hi, thanks guys for your replys.
Situation OK now. He came in... I pretended to be asleep... he crashed around for a while, he now has gone to sleep, I can hear him snoring (nice!)
I really hope he feels like sh!t when he wakes up! ...
I'll wake up feeling just fine
Thanks for listening

Tuffgirl

Zee, welcome to our forum, congrats on your sobriety, that's awesome!

So glad to hear all is peaceful. Your pups are adorable in your avatar photo!
Cheers,
~T

wicked

I love those dogs too!
the bigger one is saying,
"if you want to meet my sister you have to go thru me!"

Beth

Zee

Thanks again everyone. Husband is still asleep in bed (its 1pm) ho hum... 'till the next time!

I love my dogs. Jasper (the staff) is a big softie and Cookie (the wa-wa) beats him up, she is a feisty little girl!

Nice to be in this part of SR.. I will flit between the two areas as I see myself as recovering and still coming to terms with sobriety and also having my "social-drinking" husband issues!... I like it here, you have made me feel welcome xxx

Krys

I am really glad you are ok. Congrats on your sobriety, that's awesome! It must be awfully difficult to be in recovery and be around someone who is not. I hope you find some peace for yourself soon, you deserve it!