cricket123

We have our second counseling appointment tomorrow and I am thinking it is going to be a she did this or she did that session and the counselor needs to do something about me. (I find This is funny as I post this because he wants to tell on me. lol) I do know this is part of being an A and until the His mind is clearer I may keep getting this. (he has stopped drinking for about 3 months now) This sounds funny but being in the middle of it, it is not fun. Any one else have to handled this and how did it turn out?

Any words of support would be appreciated.

Cricket

lillamy

Is he working any kind of recovery program?
I'm asking because... if he's just not drinking, that's vastly different from actually being in recovery. The addicts I've known who have been "white-knuckling it" for a period of time (often to prove to someone that they don't have to drink) were irritable as all get-out and behaving just like actively drinking As (minus the being drunk).

Learning how to live sober is, as I understand it, immensely difficult, and that's where recovery programs can be a tremendous help.

I think my question to you (not for you to answer, but for you to consider, if you choose) would be: What are you getting out of these counseling sessions? Are they helpful to you in any way? Why are you doing them? What are you hoping they will do?

inpieces314

I totally agree with lillamy.

And I would like to add....that I hope the counselor knows something about addiction and can see through his bs. Obviously you are not the ONLY problem.

Willybluedog

Cricket,

What is your first impression of your therapist? Your therapist should be making you both comfortable, allowing you both time to speak, cutting off any inappropriate rants, stopiing any name calling etc.

If you therapist is sitting there do alot of um-hm um-hm and not doing any guiding then I would be looking for another therapist.

With our first joint therapist she kept forcing the issue, what do you each want, what do you need to stay in the marriage etc. , my ex wife did not like her at all because she was not going to be held accountable by anyone.

My current therapist has no problem calling me out when I am dodging, and I love that about her.

Hope this helps,

Bill

Redheadsusie

I get the blame put on me totally to completely get the topic off of him and his drinking. That is just between us - he will not go to counseling. I do that on my own. Good luck and Hang in there!

cricket123

lillamy he is seeing a counselor about once a week. I do no care for his counselor because he tends to buy into I am all to blame so I would not go to him. AH set this all up after I told him this was not working anymore.

My impression of the counselor is that she sees through him and that did not settle too well at our 1st session. Over the last 2 years I have had a lot of stuff go on not just with Him but with my health(I am healthy now), my mom - she passed away and trying to settle her estate with my ex sisters( we had to hire a couple of lawyers to get it settled) So she was concerned with how I was dealing with everything and she pointed out a couple things that did not settle well with AH. So I like her.

What I would like to get out of this is to get back where we were 2 years ago it was not perfict but good. If that can not happen well I have options. (AH,(not putting an R on yet) was a RA for 9 years when 2 years ago I got sick)

cricket123

Well it did not go as I expected I am a bit frusted I guess that is to be expected. He wants me to use my money for all my own expenses and not use any of his... We both have separate accounts and one combined. How every I use my money for most of our groceries and gas for whoever needs it? So now I am wondering what I am supposed to do here not buy food so I have enough gas to get to work. I think that might have to happen. This was not resolved in our counseling session. I work part time and don't make allot of money, and I get paid opposite to my husband so I buy groceries and put some gas in my car and if the kids need gas theirs and I buy groceries. Then he gets paid the next week and I buy very little groceries and if I need a little gas I use that. So now what?

Sorry I am ranting It just frustrates me and I think it sucks being in this situation. At least it was about being told on. lol

sorry just ranting

Wanita

cricket123

oh and he says he thinks I am Bi polar (lol) This coming from dr jekell and mr hyde

Live

I am sorry. I hope you get some rest. You don't have to figure out what to do this very minute.
When my XH blew my mind with suddenly wanting a divorce I sort of forced us into counseling for 2 sessions. I could not believe the things coming out of his mouth....blaming and anger, I did not know this man at all.
For my own sake, I still prefer to believe that it was at least partly due to the fact that he had a head injury when he totalled (our) MY car just prior to all this craziness.
AND I also consider alcoholism similar to a head injury.
In the final analysis what comes to my mind was something I heard from my dad all the time growing up....."you can chit in one hand and want in the other and see which fills up first" LOL
SO what, that is what he wants? doesn't mean it has to happen that way.