m1k3

I've been working my program and pleased the way things are going. Some ups and downs and in and outs but overall I've been feeling really good.

A lot of what has helped me is I journal and meditate daily, I'm working out and I have been using a couple of affirmations for about 6 months now. They are 'I love me' and I am enough just as I am' and 'I give myself permission to put me first'.

In addition I have been working on letting go of the past. In case you haven't noticed my sig has changed to:

Sanity is giving up the illusion of control.
Happiness is letting go of the past.
Serenity is ... still working on this one but I'm getting close.

This morning I started to write in my journal and I was starting out with my affirmations when I noticed there had been a shift in my attitude. They weren't affirmations any more, they were statements of fact. I really do love me. I don't know the last time I felt that way but it was a long, long, long time ago.

I found my center only to discover that I had been sitting there the whole time with a big grin on my face saying "Welcome back dude."

Nothing has changed in my life but my attitudes, but wow, it is both a minor change and a very major change.

I can finally complete my sig.

Sanity is giving up the illusion of control.
Happiness is letting go of the past.
Serenity is just being me.

To use one of my favorite quotes "The dude abides". And now I do too.

Your friend,

MyGirlGracie

Mike... I can "hear" the smile through your post! So happy for you...

serenity001

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!

catlovermi

Yea, Mike!!!

You wear recovery well.

CLMI

lillamy

That gave me goosebumps. I've had that experience. It's amazing. And that's why it's called working the program. Because you have to work it, and you have to be patient with it taking time.

"More will be revealed" is really true. I'm happy for your newfound serenity, Mike!!!

m1k3

Thanks for all the kind comments.

It's been kind of down on the forum lately and it doesn't hurt to share that there is hope and it does get better.

I have huge amounts of gratitude for this site and al-anon. I wouldn't be where I am if not for all the good people I meet in those rooms or on this forum. Thank you all.

Keep coming back, it works if you work it so work it you're worth it.

Your friend,

lillamy

I was just thinking about that this morning. How much I love you people. IRL, I often run into attempts at encouragement that just ring trite to me, because the well-meaning people supplying it don't have the experience that gives depth and solidity to their advice. (That's not a criticism, just a statement of fact.)

When I get encouragement or advice here, it's rooted. In situations so similar to mine that they matter. So even when I haven't liked what people have told me, even when I think posts are harsh, I can see the truth and the relevance in them.

And then there's that part about feeling like you've found a place in the universe where you're... sort of "normal"... (in the context)...

lillamy

Oh crap. I used the "L" word.

choublak

Your story reminds me of the phrase "fake it til you make it".

You have done just that, and it worked.

Congrats!

wanttobehealthy

I got a little teary reading your post. You sound amazing and I read it several times. I am so glad for you to be where you are, feeling as you do. No one deserves it more and you certainly have worked hard to get there!

xo