wavygreensea

Why is this so hard? Its only been 24 hours since I had this conversation (text) with my AH:

Me: Morning, you on your way to work?
AH: No I'm sick as can be
Me: You have the flu or something? <---(dumb, I know)
AH: Coughing and throwing up
Me: Would you like to tell me why?
J, you said you were going to be honest with me.
What happened?

AH: I am being honest, I feel like poop.

Me: I'm sure you do. I know you were drinking last night. While you were talking to us. Giving you a chance to come clean about it...
What Happened?

AH: Nothing happened.

Me: Really? Ok. I guess 28 days wasn't long enough.
Trying to give you the chance to tell me the truth.

AH: Hey
Me: Yeah
AH: Whatcha up to?
Me: Don't want to talk right now
AH: Want to talk?
Me: No
AH: Ok. I want to talk to you.
Me @ 10:53am: I can't help you. Cutting communication. Can't take anymore. Don't call me.

AH @ 8:15pm: Wanna talk


I haven't replied. He has tried to call a few times but I haven't answered and just ignored.

Soooo many things going through my head today. In addition, even though I haven't had a glass of wine in I don't know how long...months...I feel hung over today! Just out of it, fuzzy, sick to my stomach. *sigh*

Going to my first Al-Anon meeting tonight, trying to keep myself busy around the house (doing bits of work, taking a break, getting on here, repeat) and just doing what I can to distract.

I am happy to have made it to the 24 hour mark.

Next goal is 48 hours. However, I hit a road block already because of some mortgage paperwork I need him to handle. I know he can't/won't right now and its not super pressing but I am OCD about bills and things like that and want it taken care of. Can't do it without his "authorization" though.

.... .....

StevieWonder

Can you just highlight the stuff he needs to sign and mail it to him?

Willybluedog

So sorry for how things are going, I believe al-anon will be a big help though.

If you would like to chat I will be on/off here throughout the day, can do private message if you would prefer.

Can you have a family member, friend or attorney handle the paperwork for you?

Best of luck,

Bill

Pelican

Does it have to be handled by 8 p.m. tonight?

What if he was in a coma right now, what would you do with the paperwork?

He says he is coughing, vomitting and feels like poop. Maybe the paperwork can wait until Friday?

LifeRecovery

I call what you are feeling "emotional hangovers" and goodness I have had plenty of those.

I hope the rest of it settles down for you.

wavygreensea

Its nothing super pressing and it can wait. I was just really more focused on controlling something (which is wasted effort) rather than letting go and letting it be for now. Thanks for the replies.

LifeRecovery - That is exactly what it felt like! Great way to word it. I can't believe how buzzy and just out of it I felt. Like I was starting to lose my mind. Today is a new day and so far, better than yesterday.

steve1840

i like that- emotional hangover, this has been one long hangover.

its so hard becasue it is so new. going nc is hard sometimes. its good that you set little goals. i just did the same thing. i called my alo yesterday hoping to get an idea of what she's feeling about what is going on between us, but all iheard was that she sounded like she was miserable and in need of her drug, much like i am about her, so i said to myself, no contact for 24 hours. its hard. i woke and wanted to hear her voice, but i said i can get through this today. you can too. just hang in there.