hadanuff

Hi All, My a got out of rehab 2 weeks ago has been home for 10 days he is being such a jerk he says he is so angry at me because i told his friends and family (THEY CALLED WHEN HE WAS AWAY) and he said i made him out to be a drunk monster .we went to marraige counsler yesterday and he told him that i made him drink like he did he said that i nagged him so much about his drinking that is way he checked himself in. I of course said that is not true and said he is just looking to blame everyone but himself i then said the most important thing is his sobriety.well last night i swear he was drinking i couldnt smell it (NOT THAT WE ARE GETTING THAT CLOSE ANYMORE)but i knew he was i did not comfrot him i have learned it is his problem i cant control it but in the mean time his is treating me like S@#t he sleeps on the couch and barely talks......the mc said at least he is here which means he is trying he is going to aa and recently joined a christian mens group should i just back off and keep myself in check and not worry about his problem (I ALWAYS WANT TO TALK ABOUT THINGS) ps..... he said he went to his brothers house and told him how unhappy he is which really bothered me any suggestions??????????

jewels04_98

hadanuff,

i was told that alot of men or even women think that after rehab its a brand new start for them. he is also knows that this is his problem not yours.. although we have to deal with there drinking and drug use at the same time.. i am not taking up for him in any way. but he is also going through the fact that he is missing something that he use to having in his system. which could cause his body to go hay wire.. you are not the reason why he checked himself in.. don't let him blame that on you. to him his sobriety is important. he shouldn't blame you and thats what he sounds like he is doing.. have you checked in ala-non meetings.. they really help... take care of you.. and let him take care of himself.. that is hard i know i am going through the samething.. remember we are here for you.. if you need to chat or just vent thats what we are here for..

jewels

Gabe

his drinking problem. The alternative would be to (drum roll please) take responsibility for it himself.
I believe someone once said that the best defense is to live a charmed life. So start living one. If he is going to act cold and distant, let him. Don't let your happiness depend on him and what he does.
Celebrate yourself. If he wants to join in on that celebration, fine. If not, go about celebrating on your own.
Peace,
Gabe

Daffodil

((((hadanuff))))))

As I see it....
#1. so you told where he was....The secrects we keep will keep us sick...What's wrong with the truth....Now if you had stood on a street corner yelling it out that would have been different..
#2. Just because he says it doesn't make it so....You didn't cause his drinking, you can't control his drinking, and you can't cure it...
#3 If he is sleeping on the couch you have the whole bed to yourself....
#4 Live your own life dear....he has to do what he has to do to get to where his H.P. needs him to be....YOU NEED TO DO THE SAME..

.Life is not a dress reheasal!

I do hope you won't think I am being flip with my reply Dear, I am not...I have been where you are with the silent treatment....whether he is drinking or not the silent treatment in my case was just an another form of trying to control...

Love and prayers,
Aunt Daffy

myles1

He's manipulating and trying to control you. Don't accept his blame and to hell with his silent treatment just go about your business. He'll get over it.

Ngaire