onceuponadream

We had some unexpected expenses come up this month and so our budget has been VERY tight for the past few weeks and fitting $$ into the budget for his beer makes me so ANGRY...how the hell does Beer get to be on the same value level as formula for the baby so that I'm saying to myself "ok so we've got just enough to get beer and formula this week after everything else is taken care of" WTF?

Thumper

I totally understand. BTDT.

To be very frank - you know that the beer is the first priority on his list right? He might not say that but that is the way it plays out for an alcoholic so be prepared.

Protect the money. Protect enough of it that you can pay your house/utilities and buy food and formula.

Pelican

I'm sorry that you are strapped for cash, and the beer is still a priority. I remember living like that, and it sucks!

I understand you are angry. I got angry too.
I got angry at him for putting us in such a jam.
I got angry at him for making alcohol a priority.
I got angry at him for letting our children go without.

Then one day, I got angry at myself for allowing it to happen, repeatedly.

I suggest you use your anger to force yourself to take action to protect yourself and your children. Use the anger to drive you into positive actions.

For me, that was seperating finances and following these steps:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

Jazzman

His priorities are skewed. Separating your finances will give you the power to make the sound money decisions he's apparently incapable of.

wellnowwhat

I know that anger.

Years ago "we" went through a tough time financially. At the time I thought "we" as meaning: me, my husband and the kids. A few years later, when I realized he was an alcoholic and had been an alcoholic at that time, I also realized "we" hadn't been poor, just me and the kids. His spending had not changed! I love/hate hindsight!

That's also when I took over the finances and was able to make sure bills could always be paid.

painterman

We have a small Gallery, and up until about 6 weeks ago my partner worked afternoons in there. She could always take what she needed from the business for groceries etc (I make sure all the bills are paid) but I sometimes wonder what she spent on Vodka and wine, and cigarettes-we seem to be better off since I stopped her altogether.