shawty80

that all my support and patience was for naught.

i talked to my xabf yesterday and he, so graciously, told me that the only reason he came to my house as he was working on his 90 in 90 was because it was "close to the meeting."

thanks a lot. i'm so glad i took the time to listen to you, cook dinner for us (hey, i gotta eat too, ya know!), and give you a comfortable place to relax from your stressful day.

suki44883

Sounds like it's time to cut those ties. Some people are just jerks, alcohol or not.

akrasia

Yeah, what an ass.

For some reason that reminds me of when my AH was home one afternoon, binging, making a half-hearted attempt to stop. I made a nice dinner, hoping it would cheer him up (translation=hoping he'd agree to stay home and sober up). We ate it, he washed it down with a bottle of wine, went and threw it all up, and then went out to a bar.

As I was cleaning it up, I was like, yeah, talk about an exercise in futility.

amy55

Time for "No Contact", and to move on with your life. Do not accept any apologies on this. He said this most likely to hurt you intentionally. He will do it again, and again.

Hugs

Freedom1990

He's an ex for a reason, yes?

I agree with cutting the ties.

You deserve better than that.

Sending you hugs of support!

wanttobehealthy

Sounds like even if he does a 365 in 365 it won't cure him of being an a$$hole. If he were working the program and learning to be a decent person that's not something he'd say. So, maybe it's of some comfort (even if it's cold comfort) to know that his behavior isn't about you. He's sick and going to meetings clearly isn't curing him of that.

MTSlideAddict

Ugh! That was a complete jerkish thing to do/say. You deserve better. I agree. Cut those ties.

wishin4change

That was just downright craptastic.

shawty80

thanks, all. this comment came a day after he told me that i had been "unconditionally wonderful" to him and that he didn't want to hurt me anymore. way to go, there, champ!!!

it's a fresh break up, and one that i didn't want, but now that i've had a week to process it, i'm starting to *see* the truth of it being for the best. of course, that doesn't make it hurt any less. we had A LOT of great times together, and he truly blessed me with more laughter and happy times than i ever thought possible (i so miss those days!). at the same time, he blessed (?) me with more heartache than i anticipated. alas, time heals all wounds, right?

i wonder how unconditionally wonderful his bacardi is going to be to him....

oh, and wtbh, he stopped going to meetings a little over a month ago so that he can try some controlled drinking. we were making progress (both individually and as a couple) until that point.

suki44883

Sounds like he's just not done yet. Oh well...you can be thankful for the good times, sad for the lousy times and still move on. He is what he is. You deserve better.

dollydo

Phew, that guy is a must miss.

Focus on you and I'd suggest that you go no contact.

wanttobehealthy

The insanity of the mind of an alcoholic (or maybe it's just the mind of a jerk who happens to be an A) is that they are praising you one second and you're second in line to sainthood and then they turn on a dime and you're the devil. And they don't see the utter dichotomy at all.

This is what I lived with for almost 8 yrs. Right down to the "unconditionally wonderful" and "I don't deserve you" to "You're why I drink" and much much worse.

He was right. He didn't deserve me and your SO doesn't and didn't deserve you.