Freedom1990

I am not having a good day health-wise, including battling a stinking migraine. I am also going to have to voice some stuff in regards to my home group tonight that has been eating at me, when we have our group conscience after the meeting. I'm not looking forward to it.

Amber came over to borrow some dog food, which is fine as I know she's out till she gets paid on Friday.

I did mention to her that I need her to put gas in my car as I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next Monday (80 mile round trip), and I'm almost on empty. She had borrowed my car on Sunday.

I know she's been stressing out on finances in general, but had no idea she managed to get herself so stressed this morning that her mitral valve prolapse was causing chest pains.

So she unleashed on me and all I could do was hold my throbbing temples and hope she was done unloading soon. Then out the door she stomped.

Ugh.

chicory

Sorry sweetheart. some days kind of stink. glad that you and amber have each other, to help in tough times. pups are glad too,

be gentle with yourself. feel better. you are loved.

big hug,
chicory

Impurrfect

(((DeVon))) - sorry for such a lousy day. I hope you are feeling better, and ((Amber)) takes care of herself, too.

You are, most definitely, loved

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

outonalimb

((((((((((freedom))))))))))

feel better soon...take care of yourself, k?

Hugs...
And healing thoughts...

Mary

LexieCat

Hope you're feeling better, soon, DeVon. Be good to yourself.

Gentle hugs,

Ann

Hugs from me too.

Days like this make me think of the saying "Some day's we're the pigeon and some days we're the statue."

Hope better days come soon for you.

Hugs

changeschoices

I'm so sorry--migraines are the worst, and stress sure doesn't help. I hope you're feeling better tomorrow.

Freedom1990

Things completely blew up last night at the meeting. I left crying before it was even over. I will be looking for a new home group and sponsor. One person called me later to check on me, and I realized at that moment that I have not felt any compassion from that group for months on end now. I will be riding with this fellow and a couple other people on Monday nights to a group 35 miles west.

I'll also be praying for the guy that ripped me a new one and everyone else who just sat there and let him.

I'm trying not to start crying again today. It was brutal. I feel shell-shocked to be honest.

It will be a long time before I open up to a group of people again.

TakingCharge999

Aww Freedom, I am sorry you are going through this. At least you have another group to attend, I am glad you have that option.

I hope you feel better soon. HUGS!!

tigger11

I am so sorry, DeVon!

This is why I avoid group settings, and AlAnon. Plus they just don't seem to be able to address issues that are important to me.

I hope your new group works better for you!

Seren

DeVon, this is for you ====> :ghug3

This is for Mr. Cranky Pants =====>

I hope, at least, you headache has eased somewhat today......

Hugs and prayers, HG

Freedom1990

Yes, my headache is gone. I'm just exhausted. That happens when I have a meltdown and cry for hours on end. Just to clarify, this was my AA group, not Alanon.

I'm seeing some warning signs from my ex sponsor, so it's time for me to look elsewhere.

Several people have been run off from that group for various reasons. It's embarrassing and sad.

I don't do change well, but it's time, and I will be okay eventually, right?

Ugh.

Seren

Oh, yes you will!!

I'm sure it's still quite hot there, right? Hope you can rest and take it easy today! More hugs........

Freedom1990

Not quite as hot the past two days as we didn't hit triple digit temps.

I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon with a new doctor as Medicaid isn't accepted at my old doctor's. There's a change I had no choice in.

I'm pretty sure the headache was due to running out of my blood pressure med, but that will be taken care of today when I see the doctor! I need new refills on that, my thyroid med, and my pain meds.

I know I'll be okay, it just don't feel like it right now.

laurie6781

Aw sheesh. Doesn't sound like a very healthy group to me.

I do understand. My goodness if I couldn't 'vent' in my home group where would I vent then, besides here and a call to Indiana.

So, if you feel you need to vent you know I can listen real well. lol and have broad shoulders to lean on. lmao

Na Anvil, let me. I got two Belgians that really like to 'bite' cranky folks in the butt.

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way Dev that you find a new sponsor and a new home group.

Love and hugs,

Freedom1990

It isn't and I've tried to ignore that for a long time.

I think I'm grieving today too because I've had the same sponsor for 20 years now.

He knew when I was going to drink again after four years.

I see the same ego mushrooming in him as happened to me.

MsPINKAcres

((Devon))

how painful - not just the headache - but the heartache of having to change your sponsor, your home group and to be crawled on the carpet in a crowd that was suppose to be your safety place?

I'd like to load up the Codie Bus & kick some booty for them hurting my friend!

BUT I'm sure there is a plan in this somewhere -

it must be one of those "AFGO's (another frickin growth opportunity)

Please take good care of YOU & hope all goes well at the new Dr!

PINK HUGS,
Rita

Impurrfect

(((DeVon))) - I wish we could all get on the codie buss (Tess's Della and Laurie's Belgians included) and come take care of grumpy-gus and give you a big hug.

I don't do change, well, either, usually go into it holding onto the old by my fingernails, but I truly believe you are going to be just fine, and any group that has you in it is very fortunate.

Love, hugs, and prayers,

Amy

LexieCat

One of my home groups has similar issues. We hashed a few things out during a recent group inventory, and I let one guy (whom I refer to as the "dictator") know how some of his little snide remarks that seem to be directed at me and a few other people make me feel. He is making nice for the moment, but I am teetering on the brink of resigning from that home group. It's a shame when one person labels himself a spokesperson for AA and is more interested in taking other people's inventory than his own.

Sorry for your bad experience--hope you are able to find a new "home" soon.

Freedom1990

Yeah, we actually seem to have 2 Mr. AA's there. I am looking forward to Mondays as I know this other group has several women in it!