Cyranoak

May I suggest you don't need a breathalyzer and not just because it's ridiculous and surreal that one would be a part of a marriage? You know this man and I'd bet a fin you know when he's been drinking. My wife can have one drink and I know it-- I've never been wrong except the years when I was practicing denial so well (and even then I wasn't wrong, just in denial and acting like an idiot).

Also, please consider that your priorities, in order, are yoruself so you can care for your children, your children because they can't yet care for themselves, and yourself because you aren't on this earth to be unhappy. Everything else comes after. Everything. Period.

Take what you want and leave the rest.

Cyranoak

dollydo

I am so glad that you and your children are safe! It is wonderful that you have your parents to support you. That truely is a gift.

Take this time to work through your emotions, think about what in life you want for you and your children, and just go from there.

Rome wasn't built in a day, be patient, no reason to make any hasty decisions.

Hugs and support,

lem0nade

Hi, everyone.

I decided to file for divorce rather than legal separation because I don't want to give AH false hope of us getting back together. It's time to just be done. He's been pretty angry since I told him (which is understandable) but has also left me some voicemails saying that he understands I need to do what I feel I need to do and he definitely wants to stay involved in the lives of the children and wants to remain friendly.

The kids and I met up with him (and a friend of mine for support) today for lunch. It was the first time the kids and I had seen him since we left. It was very emotional for all of us but he later sent me an email and thanked me for the visit and was friendly in the email.

But then also in the email he said he was going to drink tonight - "just a little". He said he wanted to tell me that because he wanted to be honest with me. I did not respond to the email. So... you lose your family, learn your wife is divorcing you, and then choose to continue doing exactly the same destructive behavior that led to that AND announce it? Yep. It just reinforced that I made the right decision, as hard as this is.

lem0nade

Hello, everyone. I'm not sure who might still be around who remembers me but I wanted to give an update to this last post of mine.

I left my alcoholic husband on July 12, 2011. That was one year ago today. I filed for divorce that same week and the divorce was finalized in November, 2011. I have since met a wonderful man, divorced himself with two kids. My new partner's mother is an alcoholic in recovery (14 years sober) and so he completely understands what I went through with my ex-husband.

My XAH has court-ordered supervised visitation twice a week, for 2 hours each visit, with our kids. He usually schedules 1 visit a week. He never calls or has any interaction with them outside of that. He continues to drink, has been unable to maintain a job, had his car repossessed, and is very close to eviction.

I made the right decision. My life is so, so much better and happier than it was a year ago. Thank you to everyone here who helped me through that rough time in my life one year ago. Wishing you all the best.

amy55

When being served lemons, make lemonade. I am just so happy for you!!!!!!!!. I also left.

Thank you soooo much for the update.

Adventure

Thank you so much for this update. I wasn't on here when you used to post, but I love to hear stories of encouragement from people who have been brave and strong enough to change their lives.

Adventure