The affair BS again
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: MASSACHUSETTS
Posts: 441
The affair BS again
This time it is with the realtor. PUH Lease Here we go again with the quacking! Seriously, do they ever give it a break. I said absolutely nothing in response 
but now I am thinking... What response have you guys given when being accused of teh phantom affairs??
This house needs to sell!!!
but now I am thinking... What response have you guys given when being accused of teh phantom affairs??This house needs to sell!!!
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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I like what TJP said....just something along the lines of:
"Regardless of what I say, you will believe what you want to believe. So, I'm not going to be involved in this conversation."
The quietly leave the room.....
I hope your house sells quickly for you so that you can get out of this uncomfortable situation!
"Regardless of what I say, you will believe what you want to believe. So, I'm not going to be involved in this conversation."
The quietly leave the room.....
I hope your house sells quickly for you so that you can get out of this uncomfortable situation!
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Illinois
Posts: 36
In the early days, I would try to convince him that if I wanted someone else, I wouldn't have stayed so long, blah, blah, blah. But after awhile, I would not respond, or say to think what you want. I was actually accused of sleeping with all the county police officers that had been to my house. Really? Sometimes I just have to laugh at all the crazy stuff I went through.
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 130
Thanks for the giggle, Eddiebuckle 
. My AH has never outright accused me of cheating, just convinced that some "young buck" will come along, or sometimes makes offhanded comments about, "I won't be gone long, so tell your boyfriend to hurry up." I usually just brush it off, or come up with some smartass remark. If all else fails, there is always, "If I wanted to cheat on you I'd leave, just like I did with [insert first husband's name here]."
The aforementioned first husband (non-alcoholic) was the only one to ever accuse me of cheating, and it was with everyone and his dog -- including people who lived halfway across the world. I moved out and his girlfriend moved in, and they announced her pregnancy about a month later. But of course, I MUST have been the one cheating.
. My AH has never outright accused me of cheating, just convinced that some "young buck" will come along, or sometimes makes offhanded comments about, "I won't be gone long, so tell your boyfriend to hurry up." I usually just brush it off, or come up with some smartass remark. If all else fails, there is always, "If I wanted to cheat on you I'd leave, just like I did with [insert first husband's name here]." The aforementioned first husband (non-alcoholic) was the only one to ever accuse me of cheating, and it was with everyone and his dog -- including people who lived halfway across the world. I moved out and his girlfriend moved in, and they announced her pregnancy about a month later. But of course, I MUST have been the one cheating.
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I had this habit of just not responding at all to crazy babble, use to drive her nuts I'm sure. That wasn't why I did it, it just made my brain short circuit? I would just stand there with a look of utter confusion?
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Thanks everyone! I know it is a bunch of BS and so does he. I have only been with him for the past 25 years and even before that I never liked that playing the field thing. I always liked being with one person and having someone to love and trust. Never EVER understood the cheating BS. How can you hurt someone that much if you love them. It is the codie in me. Come on we all know we think of everyone first before ourselves and never want to hurt other people. I think I just found one of the positives of being a codie. 
I guess people are people and can cheat for whatever reason. Every person and relationship is so different so I don't judge the people that do it, just don't understand it. Hello, be honest and tell your partner you want to split or see other people. Ok I have vented enough. Have a good one!!
I guess people are people and can cheat for whatever reason. Every person and relationship is so different so I don't judge the people that do it, just don't understand it. Hello, be honest and tell your partner you want to split or see other people. Ok I have vented enough. Have a good one!!
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Originally Posted by Eddiebuckle 
"That's absurd - the Landscaper would never put up with that."
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Del Rio, TX
Posts: 380
matching absurdity with more of the same is good.
I lash out and demand my sweater back. I've been doing this for several years. I just change the subject from what ever ridiculous quacking is spewing out of her mouth and tell her she's had my sweater long enough. And I want it back NOW!
She has not yet figured out I am quacking back.
I am also sad to report the other very real possibility. These people often project their exact same behavior onto us. they seem able to completely forget they are the ones doing what ever it is they accuse us of doing. It is part of the delusion. I see projection all the time. And then I ask for my sweater back.
It is no different than hearing a politician say they are not running for office. You can bank on them running for that very office soon.
The louder mine voices her accusation towards me, the stronger the possibility is she is actually doing it.
You'll love this one. Not really the same topic, but related and worth sharing.
I think this is what happened. She was home Tuesday night, drinking, and stumbled into something and broke her toe. Again. Speculation on my part. Wed AM she has "blackout" episode at 7:00 am whilst checking on the youngest one getting ready for school. Youngest daughter hears the commotion, and goes to her room. finds her laying on the floor claiming over and over to have "blacked out". There are some things knocked over. Youngest sees she is in actuality alive and well, and heads on off to school. STBXAW then gets on a plane 3 hours later to go see her drinking buddy Nancy in Colorado. On my way home, she calls me to tell me about the blackout. It makes no sense. Then the next day she tells me, she must have broken her toe when she had the blackout. She's never had sober blackouts. Let alone one in the morning. There is no way this happened.
What a complicated cover story. It's not like we haven't noticed the drunk middle aged woman in the house. Somehow she thinks her saying she's not drinking is the same as not drinking. And if we find out she broke her toe on Tuesday night, then the cat would be out of the bag. So she makes up this story. Really?
So, I say all this to reinforce their constant need for quackery. They lie when the truth would work just fine.
And, if he accuses you again...admit it. Tell him all about your years long affair with the most unlikely person he knows. I bet you never hear another word about it. Make sure you bug him for your sweater back too. That will keep him on his toes.
Be strong.
I lash out and demand my sweater back. I've been doing this for several years. I just change the subject from what ever ridiculous quacking is spewing out of her mouth and tell her she's had my sweater long enough. And I want it back NOW!
She has not yet figured out I am quacking back.
I am also sad to report the other very real possibility. These people often project their exact same behavior onto us. they seem able to completely forget they are the ones doing what ever it is they accuse us of doing. It is part of the delusion. I see projection all the time. And then I ask for my sweater back.
It is no different than hearing a politician say they are not running for office. You can bank on them running for that very office soon.
The louder mine voices her accusation towards me, the stronger the possibility is she is actually doing it.
You'll love this one. Not really the same topic, but related and worth sharing.
I think this is what happened. She was home Tuesday night, drinking, and stumbled into something and broke her toe. Again. Speculation on my part. Wed AM she has "blackout" episode at 7:00 am whilst checking on the youngest one getting ready for school. Youngest daughter hears the commotion, and goes to her room. finds her laying on the floor claiming over and over to have "blacked out". There are some things knocked over. Youngest sees she is in actuality alive and well, and heads on off to school. STBXAW then gets on a plane 3 hours later to go see her drinking buddy Nancy in Colorado. On my way home, she calls me to tell me about the blackout. It makes no sense. Then the next day she tells me, she must have broken her toe when she had the blackout. She's never had sober blackouts. Let alone one in the morning. There is no way this happened.
What a complicated cover story. It's not like we haven't noticed the drunk middle aged woman in the house. Somehow she thinks her saying she's not drinking is the same as not drinking. And if we find out she broke her toe on Tuesday night, then the cat would be out of the bag. So she makes up this story. Really?
So, I say all this to reinforce their constant need for quackery. They lie when the truth would work just fine.
And, if he accuses you again...admit it. Tell him all about your years long affair with the most unlikely person he knows. I bet you never hear another word about it. Make sure you bug him for your sweater back too. That will keep him on his toes.
Be strong.
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 130
Originally Posted by zrx1200R
And, if he accuses you again...admit it. Tell him all about your years long affair with the most unlikely person he knows.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 204
Yeah, if your AH is anything like mine, don't even admit to a fictional affair or give him anything to go on. Even if I jokingly mentioned the mail guy or something I am pretty sure he'd give him a call or wait for him to deliver the mail. He DID already confront our landscaper! It's mortifying, it truly is.
Just don't respond at all.
Just don't respond at all.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
Thank you zrz,
When you said ,"they lie but the truth would work just fine". That was exactly what I needed to hear today. Wow, you just lifted me up, that was what the buzz in my head was, and you just clarified, what I have been thinking all morning. Bless you my friend.
When you said ,"they lie but the truth would work just fine". That was exactly what I needed to hear today. Wow, you just lifted me up, that was what the buzz in my head was, and you just clarified, what I have been thinking all morning. Bless you my friend.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 40
i gotta remember to ask for my sweater.
for me wild things like saying i finish work at 4 and not 430 means im sleeping with the receptionist at work.
if im tired and cant last as long as i normally do during sex its because i must have been thinking of someone else (this one started a whole line of crazy including making her feel like a $2 ***** because she KNOWS im cheating).
I normally just say something along the lines of "you know I'm not. I'm telling the truth its up to you if you believe it or not.
altho i would love to try the sweater idea but knowing my AW that would start a whole line of crazy with things like, what the hell has that got to do with anything.
you just want it back to give to her dont you.
ahh the joys of the joylessness
for me wild things like saying i finish work at 4 and not 430 means im sleeping with the receptionist at work.
if im tired and cant last as long as i normally do during sex its because i must have been thinking of someone else (this one started a whole line of crazy including making her feel like a $2 ***** because she KNOWS im cheating).
I normally just say something along the lines of "you know I'm not. I'm telling the truth its up to you if you believe it or not.
altho i would love to try the sweater idea but knowing my AW that would start a whole line of crazy with things like, what the hell has that got to do with anything.
you just want it back to give to her dont you.
ahh the joys of the joylessness
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