Linkmeister

I agree. Even though I packed up 100+ boxes to move cross country (to be with now EX ABF), did most of the heavy lifting (he was off drinking, couldn't take the "stress" when the movers arrived) and live in a city of hills where I walk my dog twice a day, I still managed to pack on the pounds.

Yup, the activity level was way down, spent a lot of time at the computer, if we did go out, we did walkbut it never seemed enough.

Add to the mix-not the healthiest of foods, beer, eating those wrong foods (under stressful conditions), menopause, a potent combination!

I have some oranges and grapefruit. Maybe they will dull my cortisol levels.......

bruingirl

Hmmm. I'm actually really glad that this topic was brought up. In the last few months I was experiencing unexplained weight gain that would not come off despite how hard I was working out pretty much everyday. I attributed it to other factors at the time, but now that I'm not with XABF, let's see if that makes a difference in my case.

But pretty much what everyone hear has been saying is right. Lots and lots of cortisol + constant adrenaline = bad bad bad. Not only do those hormones themselves have primary effects on the body, but we also face secondary effects as well. Inability to sleep, for example, from constant adrenaline and stimulation and being in "fight or flight" mode basically, has MANY MANY of it's own poor consequences on health too. This can include inability to perform tasks, inability to create and retain memories with the same efficiency, and difficulty fighting off diseases anywhere from simple infection to hypertension.

bruingirl

here**

MeredithD1

I've had two major illnesses that were stress-related; still need to wear a tooth guard to bed a lot of nights because of clenching my jaw, gained 100 pounds in 10 months working a high stress job back in the early 90's, went out on disability in 2003 due to a different illness but also stress related.

I have studied it a lot. I got a bachelor's in psychology because it was so interesting to me that I just kept taking classes until I had enough hours to make it my second major.

I have been in therapy a lot. I had my first anxiety attack at age 3. Interestingly, that was also when I developed hemorrhoids.

In childhood my mother was threatening to kill me quite a bit and almost did a few times. ("Oh honey you had a bad dream...") So I grew up with "fight flight" syndrome.

I've had trouble with insomnia all my life. Most stress medications throw off my digestive tract. Fortunately, there are some great herbal remedies and I respond very well to acupuncture and Chinese herbs too.

I am extremely grateful for what I have learned in Al Anon and ACoA because most of what I have learned has to do with detaching, Letting Go and Letting God, Live and Let Live, all of what the teachings say - how to be happy whether or not the alcoholic is drinking.

How to have a Plan B in case I need to be safer, and have family who is prepared for my Plan B.

How to move my buttons when someone tries to push them. (I read that here somewhere, thank you!)

wanttobehealthy

I was extraordinarily stressed out of my mind when I was pregnant with D3 and she's been a terrible sleeper, extremely emotional/inconsolable/angry/aggressive child since birth. I have guilt like you can't imagine knowing even without scientific fact, that clearly the environment I was in when pregnant and then the environment she was born in to created much if not all of this.

Anyone have knowledge of info about reducing cortisol in kids? I ought to talk to my doctor about that...

stella27

raises hand to 50 lbs heavier than when we married.

I have lost about 20 without trying since I don't live with him any more.

I think food is no longer my only source of pleasure.

Now I need to make running my source of pleasure. I shall start TODAY.

StarCat

This would explain my obsession with keeping oranges for snacks at my desk at work.

It also explains why I always gravitated towards the Lemon & Lime Perrier sparking water whenever XABF decided he had to have sparkling water (his preferences was San Pellegrino).

Also why XABF, whenever he decided that he absolutely needed something to eat or drink because he went too long drinking whiskey and nothing else, would purchase expensive Orange Juice and drink the entire container in one go.

lillamy

I've gained weight after leaving my alcoholic marriage -- but that was because AXH wanted me to be at an almost anorexic weight because it reflected better on him for his business associates if I was skinny. (Department of The Idiotic BS We Put Up With...)

I came back to also say that getting the adrenal fatigue diagnosis (and talking it over with a friend who's an endocrinologist) was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. That's what made me decide to leave. Being dependent on antidepressants to get through the day, and hating my life and thinking about it as "same sh*t, different day" every morning I woke up wasn't enough. But realizing that living with an AH was affecting my physical health was the final wake-up call. That's when I stopped dreaming about AH dying so I would be free, and started planning for the rest of my life.

(And the funny -- as in strange, not as in ha-ha -- thing was... as soon as I had made that decision, his behavior changed. Two weeks later, he threatened to kill me. And my plans were scrapped and my future began.)

stella27

lil, I had forgotten about that "another day, another grueling ordeal" feeling I used to have.
Thanks for reminding me of how free I am now. At least in my house and MY life. Still have to share children, but not ME or my space.

banisheggshells

Whoa, I thought I was the only one who dreamed about their AH dying so I could be free. Wow. You know, I really just realized how I am no longer alone. There's hundreds/thousands of us who've BTDT and have such similar experiences. Thanks for sharing this. I feel better (more normal? would that be a good word?).

As for my health: I had migraines and colds constantly. Broke up with AXH and poof - gone. Here's a weird one: it doesn't hurt to smile. I was always fake smiling: trying to make everyone around me comfortable. About 6 months into no contact, one of my kids said something funny and I really laughed. I realized at that moment, the muscle in my jaw/neck didn't hurt when I smiled. Those last few years married to AH, I didn't even realize it had hurt. Just blocked out that pain and faked it. Sometimes I smile now just driving in my car, so I feel how relaxed I am. Pretty cool!

Freedom1990

I had major stomach surgery for pyloric stenosis back in 2006. That's a fancy term for the fact that the opening out of my stomach into the small intestine was scarred, scarred so badly that I could no longer hold food down. The surgeon was actually afraid he was going to have to reroute my small intestine because of the extensive scarring.

I woke up with a foot of staples in me from my breastbone to my navel-pyloroplasty and a selective vagotomy performed.

That was the result of years of gastric reflux disease. That's enough proof for me that there are devastating health effects of raving untreated codependency like I suffered from till age 42, thank you very much.

Linkmeister

I'm reading this thread and seeing myself is so many postings. I realized that I have been on a non-stop roller coaster of stress since 2006 and in that time, I went from a normal weight to nothing short of anorexic, my hair fell out, I had rashes, headaches, knots in my stomach - that was from my marriage, business failure with and divorce from a non-a.

Since the A came into my life, my weight ballooned up 40 pounds, the headaches came back, the tension in my neck, back and arms was indescribable, the insomnia was brutal, especially when we lived on opposite sides of the country in different time zones. It got worse when we were together, especially when he would pass out and I wold lie awake, listening to him breathe. I clenched my teeth, forgot how to laugh, forgot how to smile, I was indecisive, couldn't concentrate.....I don't think I have to go on cataloguing my symptoms.

Ending my relationship with the A was a start toward gaining not only my mental sanity back, but the physical part as well. I guess I did not realize what a toll stress puts on body as well as your mind.

Could I suggest this might make a good "sticky" topic?

Freedom1990

I would like to second that suggestion!