AA member bothering me
Gift Of Encouragement
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Brighton MI.
Posts: 68
Avie that is horrible and and that is rape that should have been reported to authorities I am not against anyone here and we all say you should not get involved if you do not for at least a year and three years is more like it but people are going to go against our suggestions. .......Steve
Gift Of Encouragement
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Brighton MI.
Posts: 68
Myles I know it is a real issue and it has to be addressed and should be addressed by a temperary sponser that first meeting.
And the men should nip it as soon as they see the signs and there are plenty of those I wish I had a dollar for everytime I have warned a lady on this. I hope you all understand I am not defending any staulkers or the activities the men and women take part in I myself have never persued a partner from the group my wife wont let me.................Steve
And the men should nip it as soon as they see the signs and there are plenty of those I wish I had a dollar for everytime I have warned a lady on this. I hope you all understand I am not defending any staulkers or the activities the men and women take part in I myself have never persued a partner from the group my wife wont let me.................Steve
Paused
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Yorkshire UK
Posts: 103
Absolutely right, Steve, it WAS rape, and it was the second case I have experienced in 14 years in AA. BOTH extreme cases, I know, but both need to be brought up whenever anyone is bothering a new member, I feel.
You are right too, that the 'suggestion' of no relationships in early recovery will never be proved to be good advice, since no-one ever listens to it, (myself included, in early days - LOL) but we do need to be aware of the danger to newcomers by some sick people, who in my opinion do NOT belong in AA.
The answer isn't always to warn newcomers off these men, either, in my experience, I have found that a 'warning off' has the opposite effect with some of the very vulnerable and needy newcomers, wo make a play for such men.
Something else I have learnt through experience, too, is - it is NOT just MEN who are guilty of predatory behaviour!!!! Some WOMEN are just as guilty of it sometimes.
Thankfully, NOT the norm for most AA meetings, but it DOES happen, and we should all be mindful of the newcomers, and follow the 'unwritten rule' MEN for MEN and WOMEN for WOMEN. Much safer that way.
I am grateful that by the time I reached the AA rooms, I was a devout MAN-HATER!!!! So no-one could have got near me if the had tried!!!!! LOL
I am also grateful that over the years of recovery I changed, and finally discovered what love IS, having met my present partner just over three years ago, at the age of 46, and 10 years sober!!!! LOL
You are right too, that the 'suggestion' of no relationships in early recovery will never be proved to be good advice, since no-one ever listens to it, (myself included, in early days - LOL) but we do need to be aware of the danger to newcomers by some sick people, who in my opinion do NOT belong in AA.
The answer isn't always to warn newcomers off these men, either, in my experience, I have found that a 'warning off' has the opposite effect with some of the very vulnerable and needy newcomers, wo make a play for such men.
Something else I have learnt through experience, too, is - it is NOT just MEN who are guilty of predatory behaviour!!!! Some WOMEN are just as guilty of it sometimes.
Thankfully, NOT the norm for most AA meetings, but it DOES happen, and we should all be mindful of the newcomers, and follow the 'unwritten rule' MEN for MEN and WOMEN for WOMEN. Much safer that way.
I am grateful that by the time I reached the AA rooms, I was a devout MAN-HATER!!!! So no-one could have got near me if the had tried!!!!! LOL
I am also grateful that over the years of recovery I changed, and finally discovered what love IS, having met my present partner just over three years ago, at the age of 46, and 10 years sober!!!! LOL
Gift Of Encouragement
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Brighton MI.
Posts: 68
Avie I am really glad that we have had this conversation and think of the people it has helped in that they can witness first hand accounts of some of the horrors and the lack of prudence by some meeting goers. And we have to be ever mindfull that not every person who attends meetings are in recovery as recovery and the AA way is the the recovery and development of character that as with most of us the character issues have plenty of room for improvement.
I herd it once said that the biggest room any of us will enter is the room for improvement. The first time I herd that I had a resentment even that has improved and every day that statement becomes more true in my life. Thank you Avie for bringing some hard earned wisdom to school with you these past few days ............Love ya Steve
I herd it once said that the biggest room any of us will enter is the room for improvement. The first time I herd that I had a resentment even that has improved and every day that statement becomes more true in my life. Thank you Avie for bringing some hard earned wisdom to school with you these past few days ............Love ya Steve
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