starshaped

Well, my dad knows that he could leave my mom, but he doesn't feel that's right. She would literally ahve nobody to take care of her. I know it's her own fault, but as I'm sure most of us realize, it's just not that simple. He still loves the person she is when she's not drunk. He also blames himself for a lot of it. She has convinced him that he is the reason she drinks. That he is mean, controlling, not good enough, etc. He is not the reason, but he's apparently been convinced that he's played a part. He isn't mean or controlling, Yes, he does have to treat her like a child when she's drunk because she makes the worst decisions when she's in that state. He does have to be controlling when she's stumbling around and trying to get in the car and drive. It hurts me so bad because he's the greatest person I know.

My mom has not had any alcohol for over a month. She has not tried to drink. She has been told that she cannot, and I think the health problems have scared her enough for now. So, I'm not so much concerned with her drinking right now, just what happened in the past and all the anger and resentment I fear I will always feel because of it.

It's odd, because a lot of the time I can completely forget about her alcohol problem. When she's normal like she is now, I just find myself feeling bad for her because she's so sick. I was mad at the beginning, but now it's like she's a somewhat normal person again. No more worrying if she's going to pick me up from school drunk. No more worrying that she'll go somewhere drunk and embarrass us. I actually find myself feeling really mean that I'm on here talking about her like this.