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Have a AS where do I start??

Old 04-08-2011, 09:58 PM
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Have a AS where do I start??

God I don't even know where to start. We don't have the money to send him anywhere. He is divorced almost 29 and his 4 year old son is in a rehab hospital due to suspected abuse by his mother and her BF. I don't know what to do or where to even look. CPS is involved and AS is supposed to meet with them on Monday. I had to call a friend of his to come get him. My husband almost killed him tonight. He left work and went to a bar and came home drunk, then acting like we are at fault. I don't know what to do.
Can someone please please help me figure out how to help him.
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Old 04-08-2011, 10:59 PM
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Hi TeddieS

welcome to SR.

SOmetimes there really isn't a 'start'-ing place
just the first post gets the ball rolling.

There's plenty others here
who also have alcoholic children.

You've found a good forum
and you're not alone.

Sometimes just learning that
is enough of a start.

Welcome!
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Old 04-09-2011, 05:22 AM
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totfit
 
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While it may sound horrible, the best thing you could do is concentrate on your helping your Grandson, who can't help himself and yourselves right now. There is really nothing you can do for your son, because only he can help himself. Sometimes the more you try and help, the worse things can become. I hope your son at some point will have an awakening. I assure you he knows what is going on. Pointing it out will only bring up strong walls of defensiveness. I hope for the 4yo especially that things improve.
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Old 04-09-2011, 06:53 AM
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peaceful seabird
 
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Welcome to the SR family!

Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.

We understand what it feels like when a loved one is addicted to alcohol/drugs. We understand the worry, the lies, the blame-shifting, the stress, the craziness, and the loneliness.

You are not alone!

There are permanent (sticky) posts at the top of the forum pages. Those posts contain some of our stories, and lots of wisdom.

This is one of my favorite:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
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Old 04-09-2011, 09:17 AM
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Alanon would be a great place to start..I have an alcoholic/addict 19 year old (6 mo. clean)..she would not be allowed to live in my home and continue her addiction under my roof.Setting some clear boundaries and following through if they are not met can help..I also agree that focusing on the child is where your energy would be best served.Your son is a full grown adult and you cannot make him stop drinking..you CAN stop enabling, causing consequences for him, which can cause him pain, which can spur him to want to change...we all play out part in the addiction with our loved ones.Getting informed and working on our recovery in Alanon is the best way to help the whole family..IMHO
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