Not sure what to think..
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 338
Not sure what to think..
We have to go over some financial stuff and I needed his signature on a paper. I asked him to call so he could stop by. I previously had offered to leave the papers out if he did not want to actually see me. He said that he was over that.
I get a voicemail that he was on his way over. I was at the gym and did not get the message until an hour later. He had stopped by anyway and dropped off some stuff but I had not left the papers for him to sign. So I call and he is pissed off. "I called", he says.
"Well I was unavailable". Did I really need to explain that if I am not home he should not stop by??
He goes on about how we are over insured and that he doesn't plan on making me rich when he dies.
I was good and did not say "If I was going to get rich from your insurance money it would have already happened!" I' am making so much progress!!
So I calmly said, "This does not sound like a good time for us to talk. Why don't you call me back when it is better for you."
He says he doesn't want to go on a rant and that this is why he thinks we should not talk unless there is a mediator.
He was angry because I took a step back when he tried to give me kiss on the cheek when we ran into each other last week.
I explained that this was a boundary I needed to set for myself and he seemed ok with that.
Then he was sweet and shared many things with me. He knows he needs to be on meds but he is scared that they might make him psychotic, (that and the fact that he probably can't be on meds if he is still drinking)
"I'm too much but I like myself this way"
"You don't know how tortuous my life has been."
His blood pressure is down. He was still smoking, drinking and eating but it was great the last time he had a physical and he does not need his BP meds which he went off of a year ago.
He said he did not want to make me feel bad and I just said it made me feel a little bad but that hearing that he is healthy is the answer to many prayers.
He said he had to go because he was cold since he was sitting in his car-I know for a fact that he was at the bar when I called. And that we always had good conversations and could we continue this one another time?
I said that I missed our conversations and that I would like that. He said he would stop by today since I am going to the accountant tomorrow.
It felt good to have a civil conversation like we used to.
Ok so now it is almost 7 and I have not heard from him at all. Was this another lucid moment in his haze?
Am I expecting rational reactions and behaviors from someone who is incapable of it?
I think I am going to drop the papers off at the accountant tomorrow and tell him he can go there to sign them. I did what I said I would-gathered the info. He was only responsible for signing the paper.
BTW- I made bread and dinner and worked on school stuff all day so I did not obsess and let this interfere with what I had to do. Baby steps,baby steps.
I get a voicemail that he was on his way over. I was at the gym and did not get the message until an hour later. He had stopped by anyway and dropped off some stuff but I had not left the papers for him to sign. So I call and he is pissed off. "I called", he says.
"Well I was unavailable". Did I really need to explain that if I am not home he should not stop by??
He goes on about how we are over insured and that he doesn't plan on making me rich when he dies.
I was good and did not say "If I was going to get rich from your insurance money it would have already happened!" I' am making so much progress!!
So I calmly said, "This does not sound like a good time for us to talk. Why don't you call me back when it is better for you."
He says he doesn't want to go on a rant and that this is why he thinks we should not talk unless there is a mediator.
He was angry because I took a step back when he tried to give me kiss on the cheek when we ran into each other last week.
I explained that this was a boundary I needed to set for myself and he seemed ok with that.
Then he was sweet and shared many things with me. He knows he needs to be on meds but he is scared that they might make him psychotic, (that and the fact that he probably can't be on meds if he is still drinking)
"I'm too much but I like myself this way"
"You don't know how tortuous my life has been."
His blood pressure is down. He was still smoking, drinking and eating but it was great the last time he had a physical and he does not need his BP meds which he went off of a year ago.
He said he did not want to make me feel bad and I just said it made me feel a little bad but that hearing that he is healthy is the answer to many prayers.
He said he had to go because he was cold since he was sitting in his car-I know for a fact that he was at the bar when I called. And that we always had good conversations and could we continue this one another time?
I said that I missed our conversations and that I would like that. He said he would stop by today since I am going to the accountant tomorrow.
It felt good to have a civil conversation like we used to.
Ok so now it is almost 7 and I have not heard from him at all. Was this another lucid moment in his haze?
Am I expecting rational reactions and behaviors from someone who is incapable of it?
I think I am going to drop the papers off at the accountant tomorrow and tell him he can go there to sign them. I did what I said I would-gathered the info. He was only responsible for signing the paper.
BTW- I made bread and dinner and worked on school stuff all day so I did not obsess and let this interfere with what I had to do. Baby steps,baby steps.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,917
I agree that just leaving the papers with the accountant for him to sign is the best thing. Too much back and forth and never knowing what his mood is going to be just makes things even more difficult.
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