Letting go of the FEAR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Managua, Nicaragua
Posts: 135
Letting go of the FEAR
Hi,
I am in counseling to deal with the effects of growing up with an addicted (drugs and alcohol) father (now Recovering 20+ yrs.) and a codependent mother, as well as my own relationships with As or other emotionally unavailable men.
I am working hard to become healthy for myself and my 3 yr. old daughter.
During today's session, I worked a lot with fear. It is something that I have been carrying around with me for basically my whole life. For example, my parents had joint custody, we would be with my father every other weekend. When we were small he would leave us outside in the car alone for hours, while he was using. Due to this and other similar situations I have carried around a lot of fear with me, as a way to protect myself and survive I imagine.
I was wondering how other people have been able to let go of fear.
I think a key for me will be to strengthen my faith in my HP, but I am not sure how to do that.
Thanks for any advice, tips, etc.
I am in counseling to deal with the effects of growing up with an addicted (drugs and alcohol) father (now Recovering 20+ yrs.) and a codependent mother, as well as my own relationships with As or other emotionally unavailable men.
I am working hard to become healthy for myself and my 3 yr. old daughter.
During today's session, I worked a lot with fear. It is something that I have been carrying around with me for basically my whole life. For example, my parents had joint custody, we would be with my father every other weekend. When we were small he would leave us outside in the car alone for hours, while he was using. Due to this and other similar situations I have carried around a lot of fear with me, as a way to protect myself and survive I imagine.
I was wondering how other people have been able to let go of fear.
I think a key for me will be to strengthen my faith in my HP, but I am not sure how to do that.
Thanks for any advice, tips, etc.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
For me, the starting place
was learning where it was coming from.
You're already well on the way to that one.
Then it was a matter of 're-training'
learning to tell myself
'that isnt what's happening now'
'That was then this is right here"
kind of stuff.
(that works to an extent with PTSD also)
I'm so glad to see you taking such an active approach
with your recovery... good for you!
was learning where it was coming from.
You're already well on the way to that one.
Then it was a matter of 're-training'
learning to tell myself
'that isnt what's happening now'
'That was then this is right here"
kind of stuff.
(that works to an extent with PTSD also)
I'm so glad to see you taking such an active approach
with your recovery... good for you!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
What helped me was handing the fear over to my HP (as much as I could) and then "acting as if" I had no fear. Pretending, IOW.
Each time I did something that evoked fear in me I felt better. More confident that I was being taken care of, that if I kept doing the next right thing somehow everything would work out.
Each time I did something that evoked fear in me I felt better. More confident that I was being taken care of, that if I kept doing the next right thing somehow everything would work out.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: MASSACHUSETTS
Posts: 441
Fear is a tough one because it can strike at anytime. I try to remind myself that when I am feeling fear it is usually not fact and my mind is just working overtime. I try and take a deep breath and say the Serenity Prayer. That helps to calm be down and I start to feel better.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
I just notice it and observe it (fear). I feel it in my body. I say oh there it is in my shoulders, in my clenched fists, etc. and notice- it is temporary. Emote (emotions) move. The Eckart Tolle book helped me alot- A New Earth. Am I ok in this moment? Yes. Anxiety is worrying about the future. Depression is worrying about yesterday. Am I ok right now? Yes. Can I take the signifigance away from the feeling. Observe it? Oh- there is that fear -like the fear I had when so and so happened to me ......fill in the blank. It is a process to stay in the moment. Doing a gratitude list will tweak me to positive thoughts too. Fear....forgetting everything is all right. The first 3 steps.
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