Blogs


Notices

identify not compare can anyone explain what this means

Old 03-23-2011, 06:28 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,393
Blog Entries: 130
identify not compare can anyone explain what this means

just started reading codependent no more and notice it says al alon has a saying 'identify not compare' can anyone break this down for me what dus it mean?
LeadHatter is offline  
Old 03-23-2011, 06:35 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
We use that phrase in AA, too.

It means that when you listen to other people's shares or their stories, don't compare your situation to theirs ("Oh, I can't be alcoholic--I didn't drink like her or didn't lose everything like that guy" or "Wow, I drink a lot more than these people, maybe THEY could get sober but I'll never make it"), but listen for the ways you are like the other people ("Maybe he did time in prison and I never even got a ticket, but it's amazing how much the way he felt about drinking is just like the way I feel"). Look for the ways we are alike, not different.

Alcoholics (and partners or children of alcoholics) have a lot of very similar experiences, even if their stories aren't exactly the same.
LexieCat is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to LexieCat For This Useful Post:
Alone22 (03-23-2011), Dee74 (03-23-2011), GettingBy (03-24-2011), laurie6781 (03-23-2011), StarCat (03-24-2011), theuncertainty (03-24-2011)
Old 03-23-2011, 06:46 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,393
Blog Entries: 130
thanks lexie i think i get what you mean - just trying to compare it now

crap is that wrong, compare - just trying to ah well...

no i do get the drift i believe but as you can see i seem primed to compare presently [which is a problem]
LeadHatter is offline  
Old 03-23-2011, 06:48 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,393
Blog Entries: 130
well thanks its a bit of a knee jerk a major one coming here but well im early recovery and just finally opening codependent no more
LeadHatter is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:34 PM.