longlivediva

it just makes me really sad to see how users hurt the ones who want to help them the most. and that goes for manipulators, drug users, drinkers the whole nine. They take advantage of the ones who love them the most. The ones who love them the most are caught between a rock and hard place, as once I was and find myself getting stuck between recently as well. We want to help the ones we love the most, the ones who are using....when what we really need to do is look deep down into OUR SELVES and really figure out what's going on inside of us and why we tend to attract people like our addictee's or addictors...whoever these people are -- you get the picture..does not mean that i am better than a drug addict or alcoholic just means that i am coming to an awareness, two years later divorced six years too many married to an addict...NEVER AGAIN NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN. yes I am resentful, yes I have no problem admitting it..takes an Adult TO ADMIT IT...takes a big person.... I DONT WANT TO HURT ANYMORE...

Debbie

Diva

I don't think any of us want to hurt.

This may seem like a stupid question, but do you go to Al-Anon meetings? If not, perhaps you should. Going to meetings will teach you to let go of your addict with love, to let go of all those resentments that are eating you up inside and take care of yourself. Taking care of you is what it is all about. When you start taking care of you and making yourself your number one priority perhaps some of that pain and hurt will ease.

Take care,
Debbie

longlivediva

Thanks Debbie for your input...no i have not been to a meeting in a very long time...maybe I need to pay a visit, cause what I feel on the inside -- it aint pretty, i am in al ot of PAIN.

ciditha

dear diva, <<<yes, i am resentful>>>. Oh boy do i feel that way too. i resent the way my brother's alcoholism tears at my whole family. how do we balance our love for someone with the detachment we need to not feel the pain? my thoughts are with you for i know the pain can be overwhelming.